Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?
It is true that many children have been less interested in studies, and this have affected their academic performance. There are various reason for this problem, and parents and schools should take action to solve this worrying trend.
点评：第一段主谓不一致，也不是很扣题，毕竟题目是问是否专注，不是是否感兴趣，虽然这两个概念有点重复。
Many schools fail to keep students interested because they do not pay attention to teaching methods. Teachers do not tailor course content to students’ levels and needs, and children may be demoted. If children are taught to learn fomula by rote, they might not have opportunities to put what they learn into practice, and they may lose interest in subjects such as chemistry and biology. This problem is particularly severe in the exam-oriented system,where teachers give priority to exam results, and ignore students’ interest.
点评：应该是demotivated，最后一句话拓展也是硬加上去的，没有什么实质的内容
Another reason is that the internet and television could be a distraction to the next generation. Many children are obsessed with playing computer games, because these games can bring them excitement that school work do not offer. Additionally a growing number of students spend their time watching tv programmes,such as cartoons and TV series, rather than doing homework after school. As a result, these students can hardly listen carefully to teachers in class, because their minds are dominated by the content of games and TV programmes.
点评：逻辑也是有点问题：为什么晚上看电视，上课不能专注，有点奇怪
To solve this problem, teachers and parents should work together. Teachers can adopt some teaching aids such as designing quizes and course activities, to engage students’ interest, and ensure that more students can get involved in class. Parents should also play a bigger part in educate children. They should limit children’s screen time and encourage their children to find enjoyment in require new knowledge instead of playing games.
点评：介词后面加动名词，比较低级的语法错误。
In conclusion, several factors have caused this problem, but parents and teachers can take action to help children develop interest in school work.
最后的分数：大概6分
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