即使是装出来的痛苦，背后也一定有不幸的存在。因此对于他人的痛苦，即便是伪装出来的，我们也应当予以体谅。毕竟活着就已经够累的了，若再因细枝末节互相指责，生活就太残酷了。
是疾病而非隐喻
译者：李 煦
校对：朱星汉
笔记：张鑫健
策划：王旻彦
本文选自
The Atlantic
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Lady Gaga’s Illness Is Not a Metaphor
是疾病而非隐喻
“Pain without a cause is pain we can’t trust,” the author Lesli
e Jamison wrote in 2014. “We assume it’s been chosen or fabricated.”
《女性痛苦之统一理论》的作者莱斯利·贾米森于2014
年写道，“毫无缘由的疼痛不能称之为疼痛，我们由此假定，这种‘疼痛’其实是人为的，或者说是伪装出来的”
。
Jamison’s essay “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain”
unpacked
the suffering-woman
archetype
, which
encompasses
literature’s broken hearts (Anna Karenina, Miss Havisham) and society’s sad girls—the depressed, the
anorexic
, and in the 19th century, the
tubercular
. Wariness about being defined by suffering, she argued, had led many modern women to adopt a new pose. She wrote, “The post-wounded woman conducts herself as if
preempting
certain accusations: Don’t cry too loud; don’t play victim.” Jamison questioned whether this was an overcorrection. “The possibility of fetishizing pain is no reason to stop representing it,” she wrote. “Pain that gets performed is still pain.”
这篇文章
详细分析
了一些遭受痛苦的女性的
典型
，这
包括
了文学意义上的心碎（如《安娜卡列尼娜》中的同名女主角、《远大前程》中的郝薇香小姐）和社会学意义上的悲伤的女孩——表现为抑郁、厌食，如果生在19世纪，还包括那些患有结核病的女孩。作者认为，因为担心被定义为“悲伤的女孩”，许多现代女性伪装了自己，“经历了创伤的女性会刻意
避免
一些会让她们遭受指责的行为：如大声哭泣、佯装自己是受害者。” 贾米森质疑这是否是矫枉过正。“即便她们有可能痴迷于自身的痛苦中，也没有理由禁止她们表现出痛苦，佯装出来的痛苦也是痛苦的一种。”
Preempt
: vt. /priˈempt/
①to prevent something from happening by taking action first.
②If a broadcast is preempted, it is replaced by another, usually more important broadcast.
Jamison’s work might come to mind when watching Lady Gaga’s new documentary, Gaga: Five Foot Two, or when reading about the singer postponing her European tour. The pop star this month informed the world that she suffers from
fibromyalgia
, which causes chronic muscle pain. In the documentary, she visits the doctor, she curls up on a couch, she cries in agony. On Instagram, she prays while holding a
rosary
. The
caption
is a lengthy apology to her fans for having to postpone
upcoming
performances due to her condition.
贾米森可能是受Lady Gaga的新纪录片《五尺二寸》 或是由于听闻她推迟欧洲巡演而写下这篇文章。本月，这位流行歌星公布了她罹患
纤维肌痛症
的事实，这一疾病会导致慢性肌肉疼痛。纪录片中，她在医生处的沙发上蜷缩着身子，因极度痛苦而哭泣不已。在Instagram上，她发布了手持
念珠
祈祷的照片。 长长的
标题
是对她粉丝的致歉，因为她不得不因为身体原因推迟
近日的
表演。
While
forthright
, G
aga’s statements about her struggle have been somewhat couched in
embarrassment
—and the public has responded with both sympathy and skepticism. “I use the word ‘suffer’ not for pity, or attention, and have been disappointed to see people online suggest that I’m being dramatic, mak
ing this up, or playing the victim to get out of touring,” she wrote. It’s not the first time she’s been doubted or criticized about something that her body has gone through. When hip surgery made her cancel her 2013 tour, some folks accused her of faking her injury because of
underwhelming
ticket sales.
尽管Gaga的这份声明十分
直率
，但里面提到她和病魔作斗争的部分却有些令人尴尬，公众的回应里头，有同情的声音，也有质疑的声音。她写道：“我用‘受苦’这个词不是为了引起同情或是注意。在网络上，人们说我在演戏、在虚构事实，为了逃避巡演而佯装自己是受害者，我感到非常难过。这不是她第一次因身体原因遭到疑虑或者指摘。她因为髋关节手术而不得不取消2013年的巡演时，却有人指责她是因为演唱会观众
太少
而伪造事实。
In many ways, this skepticism is deeply familiar. It is a documented fact that women tend to report more pain than men—but also that their pain is seen as less
credible
, with women less likely to be given strong
pain relievers
, facing inordinately long wait times to be treated, and likely to be told that their problems are mental or emotional rather than physical. It’s not hard to draw a line from the presumptions underlying that inequality to the gendered way that literature and music about suffering is often classified. It’s also easy to see how such attitudes give rise to the “post-wounded” affect Jamison writes about.
这样的怀疑之声再熟悉不过了。有记录表明，女性往往会表现出比男性更多的痛苦，人们更倾向于
不重视
她们的疼痛症状，但与此相随的，女性常常得不到强力的
止痛药
，平均等待救治的时间也比男性长得多，医生常常会告知女性她们的症状其实是心理层面或情绪方面导致的，并不是身体上的疼痛。认定这是一种性别不公；以及不论是文学还是音乐上对痛苦的定义都因性别而异，将这两者联系到一块并不困难。很显然，这种对待两性截然不同的态度对贾米森书中的“经历过创伤后…”是有影响的。
Credible
:
adj. /ˈkred.ə.bəl/
able to be believed or trusted.
This bias is, in fact, so familiar that there are scripts that a plugged-in, empathetic person might use to respond to Gaga. “Believe women,” goes the mantra of campaigns to curb sexual assault. “Believe the patient,” counsels medical literature on the topic of pain. But Gaga’s situation presents ano
ther test of c
ompassion and trust. Believe the pop star? Who’d be so
gullible
as to do that?
这样的性别偏见太常见了，见多识广、富有同情心的人面对这种情形可能会对Gaga说的话都有脚本可循：“相信女性”——这是预防性骚扰运动中的标语；“相信病人”——“疼痛”主题下的医学文献如是建议。但是Gaga的情况让人们较难去信任她、对她表示同情。相信流行歌星？ 谁会这么
傻
呢？
Gullible:
adj. /ˈɡʌl.ə.bəl/
easily deceived or tricked, and too willing to believe everything that other people say.
Of all the celebrities to face a medical trial in public, Gaga would seem a particularly complex
one. She rose to stardom for celebrating the artifice of fame: for leaning into the
fabulous
possibilities of forgetting the self, for bypassing “realness” in glimmering studio pastiches. Authenticity, fixed identity, and e
ven the limitations of the human body were, explicitly, jokes in her universe. You needed not know Gaga the person.
所有因为病痛而面临公众指责的明星中，Gaga是比较复杂的一位，她成名是因为赞颂名利的虚伪性，因为认为忘却自我能释放无尽的可能，因为忽略那些在闪亮录音室中制作的歌曲集锦中的真实性。真实性，错综复杂的个人身份，甚至人类肉体上固有的局限性，在她的世界中都只是玩笑罢了。你甚至都无需认识她本人便能知晓这些。
But Gaga has spent the past three years
deconstructing
her previous project, which is its own kind of performance. Elaborate dance pop ceded ground to jazz standards, showtunes, and country rock.
Tentacle
gowns went into the closet; jeans and a pink cowboy hat came out. The director Chris Moukarbel shot Five Foot Two largely on handheld—maybe even smartphone—cameras. You see Gaga cooking, recording, planning, crying, bonding. In one scene, she’s topless as she chats with her team by the poolside. The implication: This is Gaga, au
naturel
. Yet she never seems to forget the camera.
但是Gaga至今已经花了三年的时间来
解构
她先前的表演模式。精湛的流行歌舞变成了爵士，戏剧和乡村摇滚。布满
触手
的充气裙塞进衣柜，换成牛仔裤和粉红色的牛仔帽。拍摄这部影片时，导演迈克尔·穆卡贝尔主要使用手持摄影，甚至可能还用到了智能手机。你能看到她在做饭、录音、做规划、流泪、社交的画面。一个场景中，她裸着上身在泳池边与她的团队成员聊天。这一幕隐含的意义是：这才是
真实
的Gaga。但她看起来从未忘记相机的存在。
Five Foot Two documents last year’s release of her album Joanne, and makes clear how much Gaga’s public
reboot
relied on demonstrating that she, like everyone else, suffers. Gaga has increasingly mined the
traumas
of her own life, with songs and
philanthropic
efforts growing out of her rape at age 19. The dissolution of her engagement to the actor Taylor Kinney, mournfully referenced a few times in the documentary, seemed to inform the breakup-themed Joanne singles “Perfect Illusion” and “Million Reasons.”
这部影片记录了她去年的专辑《Joanne》的发布历程，并表明Gaga的
复出
有赖于向世人证明她和普通人一样会经历痛苦。她越来越多地挖掘自己的生活中的
创伤
，写关于19岁时被强奸的歌曲，参加
慈善
活动。她与演员泰勒·金尼解除婚约的事情也数次在纪录片中出现，就好像是对《Joanne》中以分手为主题的单曲《Perfect Illusion》和《Million Reasons》的注解。
But there was a deeper source of
anguish
on Joanne, too. The album is named for her aunt, an aspiring artist who died of lupus at age 19 in 1974. “Seeing what that did to [my father] and my family was the most powerful thing I experienced growing up,” Gaga tells the journalist Darryl Pinckney in the film. “I am Joanne. I am my father’s daughter. That is what this record is about.”
但是，《Joanne》也有更深层的
痛苦
之源。这张专辑名取自她的姑妈，她是一位满怀理想的艺术家，却在1974年，19岁时死于狼疮。“姑妈的逝世对我父亲和整个家庭的影响我都历历在目。”Gaga在影片中告诉记者达里尔·平克尼。 “我是Joanne（Gaga原名Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta）。我是我父亲的女儿。这就是这部影片的内容。”
The most memorable scene of the documentary comes when she first plays the album’s delicate, acoustic title track for her grandmother, Joanne’s mom. The moment verges on uncomfortable, and not only because Gaga’s father, Joanne’s brother, gets up and leaves the room in apparent distress midway through. Gaga herself seems hungry to have her telling of an
ordeal
she did not personally experience validated by those who did. “Did I get it right?” she asks her grandmother,
mid-hug
. “Yes you did,” her grandmother responds. But she has a warning for Gaga, too: “Don’t become
maudlin
over all this.”
纪录片中最令人难忘的是Gaga为Joanne的母亲，她的奶奶，播放专辑中精美原声同名曲的场景。这一刻让人有些不舒服，不仅仅是因为Joanne的弟弟，也就是Gaga的爸爸，中途因为过于悲伤而起身离席。而且Gaga自己没有经历过，却急于向经历过这一
可怕事实
的奶奶求证。“这首歌还可以吗？”
拥抱
时她问奶奶。 “它很不错。”她的祖母回答。但她也警告Gaga：“不要因为这一切变得过于
伤感
。”
Ordeal:
n./ɔːrˈdɪəl/
a very unpleasant and painful or difficult experience.
Maudlin:
adj. /ˈmɑːd.lɪn/
feeling sad and having a lot of pity for yourself, especially after you have drunk a lot of alcohol
For now, Gaga is asking not for applause but understanding.
现在，Gaga不是要求喝彩，而是要求理解。
It’s never explicitly stated, but Gaga seems to connect to Joanne’s story in part because of her own medical situation.
Iconography
about hospitals and
crutches
and wheelchairs over the years hinted that the seemingly
bionic pop star
faced problems of the flesh off-stage. In 2010,
she told Larry King she tested “borderline positive” for
lupus
. She’s still feeling the effects of the injury she sustained in 2013, as seen in a Five Foot Two moment when she pauses rehearsals for her Super Bowl halftime show because of
hip tightness
. Fibromyalgia appears to make that problem worse, and being a pop star in chronic pain certainly doesn’t seem easy. One scene shows her having her makeup done for a performance while sitting in a doctor’s examination room.
不知从何时开始，Gaga认为自己与Joanne的故事有相似之处，这部分是因为她的身体状况。 多年来她推送的关于医院、
拐杖
和轮椅的
图片
暗示，人们眼中的
超级巨星
在现实中却面临着健康问题。 2010年，她告诉Larry King，她的
狼疮
检查结果显示“临界阳性”。 2013年受伤的后遗症仍然折磨着她，如纪录片中，她因为
臀部肌肉紧张
而停止排练超级碗半场表演。 纤维肌痛症进一步恶化了这个问题，而做一个深受慢性疼痛折磨的明星显然并不容易。 一个场景中，她坐在医生检查室时，已经为表演化了全妆。
Gaga’s particular
ailment
is an almost-literal rendering of Jamison’s “pain without a cause”—which is, as she notes, “pain which can’t be trusted.” A poorly understood but widespread disorder that seems to inordinately affect women, fibromyalgia is sometimes assumed to be
psychosomatic
. “Drag Approved Is Disease Real?” read a 2008 New York Times headline about the first FDA-sanctioned drug to treat it. Gaga has said that she wants to help raise awareness and research dollars. During one
excruciating
flare-up shown in Five Foot Two, she sympathizes with less-privileged sufferers of the disorder: “Like, I don’t know what I’d fuckin’ do if I didn’t have everybody here to help me.”
Gaga的
不安情绪
几乎逐字表现了贾米森说的“毫无缘由的痛苦”，正如她所说，“不能将其认定为痛苦”。纤维肌痛症是一种大众了解甚少但是患者甚多的疾病，其中女性患者似乎尤其多，而且常常被界定为一种
由心理因素引起的疾病
。 “纤维肌痛症治疗用药获批，但该病是否真实存在？“2008年纽约时报关于FDA首次批准用药治疗纤维肌痛的一篇头条报道上写道。 Gaga表示，她想帮助提高该疾病的社会关注度，同时促使相关药物研究得到资金支持。 在《五尺二寸》记录的一次疾病发作中（她说整个身体的右半部分都在痉挛和疼痛），她对普通患者表达同情：“如果我没有这些帮助我的人，我都不知道该怎么办。”
Excruciating:
adj. /ɪkˈskruː.ʃi.eɪ.t̬ɪŋ/
extremely painful
extremely boring or embarrassing
A few moments later, she’s looking straight into the camera. “Do I look pathetic?” she asks, tear-streaked, lying on a couch, a therapist massaging her. “I’m so embarrassed.” It’s a powful moment because the
stigma
of pain is clearly part of the pain itself. But it’s also
aesthetically striking
. To answer Gaga’s question, she actually looks like she did in parts of the “Bad Romance” video—crying,
stripped down
, and
oddly lumin
ous
. It’s a sign of fame’s power on the viewer: Whatever lengths she might go to put person over persona, the persona remains.
一段时间后，她直视摄像头。 “我看起来很可悲吗？”她问道，躺在沙发上泪流满面，理疗师正为她按摩。 “我太丢脸了。”这一刻很具有冲击力，由于痛苦产生的
耻辱
显然也是痛苦本身的一部分。 但这一画面也相当夺目。 如果要对她之前的问题作出回复，那此时她实际上看起来像是在“Bad Romance”的MV中：流着泪，
光裸身体
而又
异常光彩夺目
。 对于观众来说，这是名望的力量：无论她多么努力地想要用真实的自我去替代他人心目中的那个形象，这个形象仍无法彻底被抹去。
Pop music has firmly moved on from the phase of gleeful, Technicolor artifice that Gaga stood for at her peak.
Contemporaries in wildness like Kesha and Miley Cyrus have done much what Gaga has done and traded
Alexander McQueen
creations for cowboy boots. They have also made a diaristic turn, harmonizing their music with thei
r
angsty
, tabloid saga
s.
流行音乐已不太青睐Gaga巅峰时期代表
性的光怪陆离、令人愉悦的花样。同时代风格狂野的女明星，如Kesha和
Miley Cyrus
已有与当时的Gaga趋同之势。在Gaga将亚历山大麦昆式的着装换成了牛仔靴的同时，她们也进行了调整，使他们的音乐与他们所为之
焦虑
的生活相协调。
Usually this means trading on the s
pectacle of suffering to sell pop’s ultimate commodity—inspiration. Beyoncé’s Lemonade is the signal example, taking the sting of infidelity to
spin
a tale of hurt and overcoming. Kesha’s alleged abuse by her mentor and producer Dr. Luke was addressed and transcended o
n this year’s Rainbow. Katy Perry marketed her latest album with an on-camera therapy session in which she cried about her “real” self wanting to be known. Taylor Swift seems on the verge of unveiling a more
acidic
survival story.
通常这意味着以展现痛苦的方式，来取代流行音乐中最重要的灵感。 碧昂丝的《Lemonade》专辑是一个典型的例子，编造一个受到伤害而后勇敢克服的故事。 Kesha称，她与她的制片人兼导师Dr.Luke之间所谓的虐待风波已经妥善处理完毕，这一经历催生了她今年的专辑《Rainbow》。 凯蒂·佩里（Katy Perry）在直播接受心理咨询时推销她的最新专辑，她哭泣着说她希望有人能了解她“真正”的自我。 泰勒·斯威夫特似乎也即将在新专辑中描绘一个更
苦涩
的生存故事。
