各位晚上好，欢迎来到写作专栏第四期，关于栏目的介绍可见怎样写一篇作文？
不少人在写作中容易出现用词单调的问题，一写到关于保护环境的话题，很多人通篇都是 protect the environment，一写到家庭教育话题则大量重复使用 parents 和 children 这些词。
实现用词多样化的一个方法是查词典，比如“保护环境”，除了 protect the environment 这一说法，我们还可以在英英词典中找到很多表达，比如 conserve the environment / save the planet / go green 等。转换词性也是一种常见方法，protect the environment 这种动宾结构可以换成名词结构 environmental preservation / protection / conservation, 两种方法结合起来可以极大拓展用词的多样性。
此外，平时在阅读英文材料时遇到好的多样性表达也要记下来。比如“农村与城市之间的差距”，我们一般想到的表达是 the gap between cities and the countryside, 《经济学人》用的是 the urban-rural divide
这样简洁地道的用法非常值得我们背诵和应用。
今天要分析的作文题目是：
Individuals can do nothing to protect the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这是原始作文版本：
文 / vilixilin
It is sometimes argued that the environmental protection is closely related with governments and large companies while individuals cannot make a difference. I completely disagree with the idea and believed that the individuals have their own responsibility in improving the environment. Reasons as well as well relevant examples will be discussed in this essay.
To begin with, it does not mean that the governments and companies never play a role in environmental preservation. Governments can put forward a series of policies such as to deal with energy crisis, emission reduction and so on, whilst companies can produce environmental friendly products.
However, it is obvious that the environmental improvement relies heavily on raising people’s awareness of preserving the earth. Only when the citizens realize the significance of environmental conservation could the policies related to energy saving or extreme weather combating be well carried out. Therefore, people’s state of mind counts when dealing with the environmental issues.
Besides, individuals’ change in life style contributes to make much progress in improving our environment. Take forests in Brazil as an example. In the past, the tropical forest in Amazon diminished sharply due to heavy use of goods made by wood, while recently after residents cease to use wooden stuff such as disposable chopsticks, the chainsaw also stops, thereby increasing the forest coverage rate in the area.
In conclusion, even though governments and companies do play a crucial part, individual’s awareness and green life style benefit the planet a lot. Only when the three parties join hand will ensure our later generation the blue sky and enough sustainable resources.
这是点评版本：
It is sometimes argued that the (the 删去) environmental protection is closely related with (这里介词有误，应该是 be related to，这里改成 falls within the scope of 会更好) governments and large companies while individuals cannot make a difference. I completely disagree with the idea and believed (改成 believe) that the (the 删去) individuals have their own responsibility in improving the environment. Reasons as well as well (well 删去) relevant examples will be discussed in this essay.
To begin with, it does not mean that the governments (这里是泛指政府，可以写成 governments 或者 the government，但不能写成 the governments，此外句子前面的 it 指代不明。句子可以改写成 It is true that governments and big compaines play a part in environmental protection.) and companies never play a role in environmental preservation. Governments can put forward a series of policies such as to deal with energy crisis, emission reduction and so on, (改成 to deal with energy crisis and reduce carbon emissions) whilst companies can produce environmental friendly products.
However, it is obvious that the environmental improvement relies heavily on raising people’s awareness of preserving the earth. Only when the (the 删去) citizens realize the significance of environmental conservation could the policies related to energy saving or extreme weather combating (extreme weather combating 严格意义上并不属于环境保护的范畴，可以改成 carbon emissions reducing ) be well carried out. Therefore, people’s state of mind (state of mind 含义是“情绪，心态”，用在这里不合适，可以改成 environmental awareness ) counts when dealing with the (the 删去) environmental issues.
Besides, individuals’ change in life style contributes to make much progress in improving our environment. (表达冗长，可改成 environmental improvements) Take forests in Brazil as an example. In the past, the tropical forest in Amazon diminished sharply due to heavy use of goods made by wood, while recently after residents ceased to use wooden stuff such as disposable chopsticks, the chainsaw also stops, (改成 stopped) thereby increasing the forest coverage rate in the area. (这里举例不太恰当，亚马逊雨林面积恢复并不是因为普通民众的消费习惯改变，而是因为国际社会的压力和巴西政府的政策，可参考维基百科词条 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deforestation_of_the_Amazon_rainforest )
In conclusion, even though governments and companies do play a crucial part, individual’s awareness and green life style benefit the planet a lot. (a lot 较为口语化，用在书面表达中不合适，可以改成 greatly) Only when the three parties (这里改成 all of them) join hand will ensure our later generation the blue sky and enough sustainable resources. (改成 our later generations enjoy the blue sky and enough sustainable resources)
总结：
这篇作文相对来说比较容易写，主要观点以及例子都不难想到。上面的作文在观点上没有多大问题，但举例可以更加深入细致。此外，在语言表达上存在一些问题，比如 the 的使用经常出现问题 （中国学生的冠词经常用不好），还有倒装句的过多使用。类似 Only when the three parties join hand will ensure our later generation the blue sky and enough sustainable resources. 这样的句子如果没有充分必要应该尽量避免使用。
思路分析：
Individuals can do nothing to protect the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
作文要求我们分析个人以及政府和企业在环境保护上的作用，对于政府和企业来说，他们起到的作用主要是：
（1）政府能通过制定政策引导个人和企业保护环境；
（2）政府能通过各种宣传活动提升公众的环境保护意识；
（3）企业能够生产环保产品，引导消费者采取绿色生活方式。
个人起到的作用主要是：
（1）个人是环境保护政策的最终执行者，他们决定了环境保护运动的成败；
（2）个人可以在日常生活中保护环境，节约资源；
（3）一些环保意识较强的人能够唤醒民间环保意识，推动政府立法以及规范企业行为。
这里给出我写的一个版本：
文/魏剑峰
The role of members of society in environmental protection has been the subject of intense debate. Although governments and large companies are crucial in addressing conservation issues, the part played by individuals is also important, if not more so.
It is true that governments and corporations fare better than individuals when it comes to creating blueprints for environmental protection. Start with policy-making. Legislators are able to raise public awareness and regulate the activities of citizens and businesses by enacting stringent environmental laws. Under the Clean Water Protection Act, for instance, factories have to dispose of industrial waste in an eco-friendly way before releasing it into rivers, and farmers are not allowed to use chemical fertilizers because they are a source of pollutants. Next comes the role of corporations. Big companies can do their bit by developing green products and persuading consumers to adopt a sustainable lifestyle. Consider the electric cars launched by Tesla Motors, which, if widely used, would reduce exhaust emissions in densely populated areas.
Individuals can also contribute to the protection of our planet. By opting for public transport, city dwellers are able to reduce their ecological footprints; with the introduction of paperless offices, white-collar workers help to curb deforestation; in place of ordinary light bulbs, average households use compact fluorescent lamps to save energy. Moreover, eco-conscious citizens can even raise environmental awareness. Consider Rachel Louise Carson, an American conservationist whose book Silent Spring has led to a nationwide ban on DDT and inspired global green movements. Such case reinforces the notion that individuals can make a difference.
In conclusion, the role of environmental protection is not restricted to governments and corporations. Ordinary people can also play their part in making the world a better place.
预告：
本专栏下期要分析的作文题目是：
In some countries, people are having their first baby at an older age. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
感兴趣的同学可以先思考如何写，然后对照下期的思路分析。建议有空的同学自己动笔写一篇。
