ladies and gentlemen, elon musk! ♪♪
>> thank you. thank you. thank you very much. it's an honor to be hosting "saturday night live." i mean that. sometimes after i say something i have to say "i mean that."
so people really know that i mean it already that's because i don't always have a lot of intonation or variation in how i speak. which i'm told makes for great comedy. i'm actually making history tonight as the first person with asperger's to host "snl." or at least the first to admit it. so i won't make a lot of eye contact with the cast tonight.
but don't worry, i'm pretty good at running "human" in emulation mode. i'd first like to share with you my vision for the future. i believe in a renewable energy future. i believe that humanity must become a multi-planet, space-faring civilization.
those seem like exciting goals, don't they? i think if i just posted that on twitter, i'd be fine. but i also write things like, 69 days after 4/20 again, ha ha.
i don't know, i thought it was funny, that's why i wrote "ha ha" at the end. look, i know i sometimes say or post strange things but that's just how my brain works. to anyone i've offended, i just want to say, i reinvented electric cars, and i'm sending people to mars on a rocket ship.
did you think i was also going to be a chill, normal dude? a lot of times people are reduced to the dumbest thing they ever did. like, one time i smoked weed on joe rogan's podcast. and now all i hear all the time is, "elon musk, all he ever does is smoke weed on podcasts." like i go from podcast to podcast lighting up joints. it happened once. it's like reducing o.j. simpson to "murderer." it happened one time! fun fact. o.j. also hosted this show in '79. and again in '96. killed both times.
one reason i've always loved "snl" is because it's genuinely live. a lot of people don't realize that. we're actually live right now. which means i can say something truly shocking. like, i drive a prius. "snl" is also a great way to learn something new about the host. for example, this is my son's name. it's pronounced "cat running across keyboard."
another thing people want to know is, what was i like as a kid? the answer is, pretty much the same as now, but smaller. but we can also ask my mother, who is here tonight. her name is maye, like the month, but with an "e" at the end.
>> thanks for spelling my name, elon.
>> mom, do you remember when i was 12 and i created my own video game called "blast star" about a spaceship that battles aliens?
>> i do. i remember they paid you $500. but you were too young to open a bank account so i had to open one for you.
>> that's right, what ever happened to that bank account?
>> that's not important. you turned that video game about space into reality.
>> unless you consider that our reality may be a video game and we're all just computer simulations being played by a teenager on another planet.
>> that's great, elon. well. break a leg tonight. i love you very much.
>> love you too, mom.
>> and i'm excited for my mother's day gift. i just hope it's not dogecoin?
>> it is. okay, we've got a great show for you tonight. miley cyrus is here. so stick around and we'll be right back! ♪♪
