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上周我们更新了句子001(后台回复
「句子001」
),今天来看新练习。
照例,挑一句中文、一句同学版本英文,来做三件事:
1)修改句子:
先找出同学版本中的语法错误,这是个检验自己语法的绝佳机会,因为:
你一眼找出不来的错,就是你自己也会犯的错;
接下来,我们再依照简明英文原则,精简句子,删繁去冗,一步步优化。之所以选择步步进行这一办法,是想让你了解每一步修改的依据,掌握为什么要这么改,这样下次你遇到类似问题时,才知道应该怎么办。
2)总结语言点:
以词带句,学习当天句子中值得一说的语言点。
3)拓展话题语块:
拓展同句子相关的背景知识、英文表达,以避免遇到一个话题,有话可说,却无词可用。比如,如果让你写一篇有关「春运」的作文,但春运、实名制、座票、站票、卧铺等词的英文表达,你都不熟,那下笔行文,是大受限制的。拓展话题语块就是为了解决这个问题。
来看今天的句子。
修改句子
原句:
李克强总理曾多次誓言不会采取任何重大刺激措施,因为担心中国在减缓债务增长方面的进展会白费。
同学版本:
Premier Li Keqiang has announced for several times that no major stimulative measures would be taken, because worrying that the progress in reducing the debt would waste.
找出几个有问题的点了?观察一下。
- 思 -
- 考 -
- 时 -
- 间 -
结论:
至少有 11 点问题
——3 处语法错误,3 处表意不准,5 处表达冗余。
如果你没找齐,不妨再往回看看。
…
【语法问题】
Premier Li Keqiang has announced for several times that no major stimulative measures would be taken,
[because worrying]
that the progress in reducing
[the debt]
would
[waste]
.
1)because worrying 连词错误:
这处不难找,because 作为连词,后面要接句子,不能直接跟非谓语成分,如按同学版本句式,应改为 because of worries that;
2)the debt 冠词错误:
原文里「债务」并无特指,这里不加 the;
3)waste 动词错误:
waste 这里作及物动词,后面需接宾语,比如「浪费时间做某事」是 waste time doing sth,同样,按同学原句思路改,应写为 would go to waste。
综上三点,
可得版本二
:
Premier Li Keqiang has announced for several times that no major stimulative measures would be taken, because of worries that China’s progress in reducing debt would go to waste.
接着看:
【表意问题】
Premier Li Keqiang has
[announced] [for several times]
that no major stimulative measures would be taken, because of his worries that the progress in
[reducing debt]
would go to waste.
1)announced
指「宣称」,而中文原句想说的是「誓言」,二者轻重有别,announce 表意不准,应改为 has vowed to do sth 这一级别的说法;
2)for several times
部分,several 指 more than a few but not a large number,同句中要强调的「多次」不够协调,改为 on many occasions、time and time again 等,以匹配语气,会更合适;
3)reducing debt
是「减少债务」,但中文句中要说的是「减缓债务增长」,核心词落在了「增长」,这是完全不同的,应改为 slow the growth of debt。
综上三点,
可得版本三:
Premier Li Keqiang has vowed on many occasions that no major stimulative measures would be taken, because of worries that the progress in slowing the growth of debt would go to waste.
【冗余问题】
Premier Li Keqiang has
[vowed] [on many occasions]
that no major
[stimulative measures]
would be taken,
[because of worries that]
the progress in
slo
wing the growth of debt
[would go to waste]
.
虽然已经改到版本三了,但这句冗余问题仍多,改之前先回顾一下中文:
李克强总理曾多次誓言不会采取任何重大刺激措施,因为担心中国在减缓债务增长方面的进展会白费。
如何精简呢?逐个来看:
1)on many occasions
表「多次」,其实这个意思,换个思路一个词就能解决:repeatedly;
2)stimulative measures
不够简洁,「刺激措施」核心含义在前半部分,写为 stimulus 即可,指 sth that causes growth or activity,已经有「措施」这一表「物」含义了;
3)because of worries that
,虽然看上去由 because 从句改为 because of 短语,已经精简,但其实还是有个 worries 缀了 that 从句,有拖沓嫌疑,如何修改?思路不变:从句变短语——
「担心…」是对前面「多次誓言」的补充解释,这时便可利用一组表示「担心」的形容词短语,充当主语补语,既表达「担心」含义,也可解释前后逻辑联系,用 fearful of 便可:
fearful of making the progress made in slowing the growth of debt go to waste
但这样写显然还是不够的,不仅是因为 make 接连出现两次不美,也是因为:
4)go to waste
还可精简——进步白费,即「之前取得的进步都没了」,表示「做成了的东西,又都给抵消变没了」,有一个你或许没用过、但一眼见到就知道是什么意思的词:undo。比如「毁掉之前留下的好印象」是 undo the good impression,于是句子改为:
Premier Li Keqiang has repeatedly vowed that no major stimulus would be taken, fearful of undoing the progress made in slowing the growth of debt.
看起来已经不错了,但还剩一个地方:
5)vowed repeatedly that no...
还不够,思路仍不变:有没有办法,在不折损句意前提下,把从句变短语呢?
「誓言不做某事」,有短语表达吗?——还真有,比如你有位朋友决意减肥,发誓再也不吃巧克力了,描述这一情况,你可能会写:
...has vowed that he/she would never eat chocolate again
但还有更精简的版本:to swear off chocolate,注意这里的介词 off。词组含义即 promise that you will not do or use sth again,放到我们的练习句子里,
可得版本四:
Premier Li Keqiang has repeatedly sworn off any major stimulus, fearful of undoing the progress made in slowing the growth of debt.
来对照一下最开始的版本:
李克强总理曾多次誓言不会采取任何重大刺激措施,因为担心中国在减缓债务增长方面的进展会白费。
Premier Li Keqiang has announced for several times that no major stimulative measures would be taken, because worrying that the progress in reducing the debt would waste.
可一眼看出差别了?
积累表达
1)注意「总理」写法
:外媒文章中,常常 China’s premier、China’s prime minister 两个都用,比如经济学人 Mr Li’s toolbox 一文就有:
Li Keqiang,
China's premier
, is fond of saying that the government has plenty of tools in its toolbox to combat the economy's slowdown.
但另一篇也写:
On March 15th Li Keqiang,
China’s prime minister
, declared that his government would never ask companies to break the law to spy on other countries
但国内官方一般统一口径:premier,如政府工作报告、总理记者见面会,都用这一版本;参加国内语言考试时,也应以这一版本为准,更加稳妥;
2)「白费」
写为 undo,好理解:un- 否定词缀,取消了 do 的内容。比如「缺觉的影响,可以小睡一番来消除」:
to undo the effects of sleep deprivation with a nap
此外,更语境具体的「白费」还有如「白费口舌」,比如你苦劝某人无果,你朋友就说,不用白费口舌了、你劝不动她的,英文就可以讲:
Save your breath - you'll never persuade her.
类似意思还可用 waste,比如:
She won't listen, so don't waste your breath telling her.
3)说回 undo
,同它对应的词,自然就是 overdo 了,表示「做某事过头了」,像「盐放多了」就是 overdid the salt。
overdo 是个高频实用表达,比如你酷爱健身,但没想到某次练过头了,就可以说:
I'd simply overdone it in the gym.
再如你写论文,导师跟你说,图片、照片呢,可以用一点,但不要太多,也可以用 overdo:
Use a few drawings and photographs,
but don't overdo it
.
类似,「要小心一点,凡事适度」就可以讲 be careful not to overdo things。
4)像 un-、over-、under- 这些词缀
,能让英文更灵活生动,比如:
Our bad habits - from overeating to undersleeping - don't just reflect a lack of self-control.
积累话题语块
2017 年 5 月,世界顶级的信用评级机构(credit ratings agencies)穆迪,把中国主权债务的评级下调了一级(downgraded its rating of China’s sovereign debt one notch),理由就是:中国债务问题日益严重。