如果我们老早就被灌输要做一名好员工、找能负担得起房贷的工作，对于想转变这种思维模式的人您有什么建议？怎样才能开始去寻找自己所热爱之事呢？
我假设你是同意我以下说法的：其它条件不变，如果你对自己的工作充满热情，那么首先，你的工作表现会变得更好，这样你也会更成功、更快乐。因此，当给别人提建议时，我会首先让他们想清楚如何能在不损失金钱或其他事物（阻碍着他们去做自己热爱的事情）的前提下做到这一点。在得到帮助后，他们往往能做到。例如，一个私募股权投资人曾向我求助，我反问他在工作之外的兴趣爱好是什么，他告诉我之后，我让他去找一家在他所感兴趣的领域有业务的私募股权公司工作。他现在沉浸在他所喜爱并擅长的事情当中，因此他也变得更快乐、更成功。如我在《原则》所说，每当我必须在两个看似相互排斥，但同等重要的选择中作取舍时，在认真投入时间思考并听取聪明人的建议后，我通常可以两者都兼顾。我也发现很多人会被自己所处的环境所困，因为他们没有看到之外的其他选择，所以被困在一个难以接受的境况当中。不要成为他们中的一员。如果你已经尝试去找一份与你兴趣相关的工作，但发现为了得到一些更想要的东西你要放弃某些想要的东西，如你必须接受工资退一步来提升你的生活方式，这其实也是值得的。铭记：痛苦+反思=进步，这是一个很好的机会让你反思什么对你来说是最重要的。记住，你可以得到任何你想要的东西，但是却不可能拥有全部你想要的东西，你需要不断实践和拓宽你的能力。《原则》中的原则解释了你应该如何做到这些事。你可以在苹果应用商店（美国）下载“Principles in Action”的应用，它有一个“Coach”功能，能帮助你找到正确的原则。
I assume that you agree with me that if you’re passionate about your job and all else is equal that, 1) you will perform better at it so you will be more successful at it and you will be happier. So, when advising people, I ask them to first try to figure out how to do that without losing the money or the other stuff that is standing in the way of doing what they love. With help they can usually do that. For example, a guy who is a private equity investor asked me for that help, I asked him what his passion outside of work is, he told me and I advised him to find a private equity firm that invested in that area and now he’s doing that so he gets his head into what he loves and he’s great at it so he’s much happier and much more successful. As I explained in Principles, whenever I was faced with having to make a choice of two seemingly mutually exclusive, but must-have things, with thought and time, I was usually able to do both if I spent the time and got the advice of smart people. I also find that most people are trapped in their circumstances because they don’t realize all the alternatives that are available to them outside so they are trapped in unacceptable circumstances. Don’t be one of those people. If, after you tried to find a job that aligns with your passion, you find that you have to give up something you want to get something you want more - e.g., you have to make a step down in comp to make a step up in lifestyle — that’s great, too. Remember Pain + Reflection = Progress. That is your opportunity to reflect well on what is most important to you. Remember that you can have just about anything you want but you can’t have everything you want. You will need to both practice and expand your capacity. The principles in Principles explain how to do these things. To get at the right one I suggest that you use “Coach,” which is in the “Principles in Action” app on the iOS Apple App Store.
