每日原则:帮助人们更好应对由挖掘缺点而带来的痛苦。

瑞达利欧RayDalio · 公众号 · · 2019-11-11 11:57

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多数时候人们意见不同时，情绪就会升温，尤其是涉及某人的缺点时。沟通时要保持镇定、语速缓慢、有理有据。帮助他们端正视角，提醒他们，他们的痛苦属于学习和个人成长之痛——明白了真相会让他们走向更好的未来。可以考虑让他们先走开，在情绪平静时再反省，几天后再与他们进行后续对话。

最终，帮别人获得成功你要做两件事： 首先，让他们看到自己的失败，其清晰程度足以推动他们做出改变； 其次，告诉他们，如何改变做事方式，或者依靠擅长自己弱项的人。 只做其一，不做其二，可能会使你要帮助的人士气低落，两件事都做才会令其受到鼓舞，尤其是当他们开始体会到其中的益处。

Emotions tend to heat up during most disagreements, especially when the subject is someone’s weaknesses. Speak in a calm, slow, and analytical manner to facilitate communication. Put things in perspective by reminding them that their pain is the pain that comes with learning and personal evolution—and that knowing the truth will put them on the path to a much better place. Consider asking them to go away and reflect when they are calm, and have a follow-up conversation a few days later.

Ultimately, to help people succeed you have to do two things: First let them see their failures so clearly that they are motivated to change them, and then show them how to either change what they are doing or rely on others who are strong where they are weak. While doing the first without the second can be demoralizing to the people you are trying to help, doing them both should be invigorating, especially when they start experiencing the benefits.