全文翻译自The Nation杂志9月8日读者来信
原题：
I’m a Marxist-Feminist Slut—How Do I Find an Open Relationship?
编辑
：Liza Featherstone
译者：
冬天毛
《The Nation》是美国现存最古老的周刊杂志，也是最广为传读的自由主义/进步主义周刊，其包括政治文化新闻、观点和分析。该刊于1865年7月6日创刊，继承威廉·加里森的《解放者》报，声明其使命为“热诚致力于将真正的批判灵魂带入政治和社会问题的讨论，并向为祸当今政治写作的暴力、夸大和歪曲宣战。”《The Nation》在华盛顿特区、伦敦和南非设有办公室。
（Wikipedia）
正文：
Dear Liza,
亲爱的丽莎，
I’m a 32-year-old woman who would like to have kids and a life partner in the not-so-distant future. And lucky me! I’ve recently started dating an excellent candidate. But I can’t even pretend to think it’s possible (or desirable) to have sex with just one person for the rest of my life or even, frankly, for a few years.
我是一名32岁的女性，希望能在不远的未来生孩子，并找到终生伴侣，而幸运的是，我最近开始有了一位交往中的优质候选人。然而对我来说，余生只和一个人发生性关系这件事，别说是不是好事了，根本就是无法设想的；这种生活方式别说一生了，根本就连保持几年都不可能。
Monogamy feels antithetical to the type of feminism and anticapitalism I subscribe to. I am repulsed by the idea of being a man’s property. Also, monogamy—like capitalism—requires us to believe in a false scarcity: that we have to struggle for every little bit and that everything we gain comes at someone else’s expense. The kind of liberatory future I’d like to see is one of abundance and generosity and sharing. One of the few places we can experiment with that now is in our love lives.
我认为一夫一妻制与我所信奉的女权主义和反资本主义是相互矛盾的：我对于成为一个男人的财产这件事感到十分反感。而且，与资本主义一样，一夫一妻制要求我们相信一种虚伪的稀缺性，即：（婚姻的）每分每毫都需要我们奋力争取，且我们获得的一切都是从他人那里掠夺而来。我心目中的解放未来是充裕的，是慷慨的，是共享的；而目前我们能够对此进行尝试的地方只有我们的感情生活。
But ALL the decent men I’ve dated are really opposed to open relationships, while the men I’ve slept with who say they fancy the idea don’t ever stick around long enough for the “relationship” part of an open relationship.
但我交往过的
所有
靠谱男人都极其反对开放式关系，而在我睡过的男人里，那些赞同这个想法的往往溜得太快，根本就无法满足开放式关系中的“关系”一词。
This leaves me feeling like once I find a partner, the options are: 1) cheating (crummy and unethical, also a big anxiety-inducing headache); 2) waiting for the mythical “one” who will magically make me never attracted to anyone else (I’m fairly certain this is a hoax); or 3) retire from my glorious days as a loud, proud slut and gradually wither away inside as I suffocate one of the parts of my life, personality, and politics I cherish most. Please tell me there is another option out there.
这让我觉得，一旦我找到了伴侣，留给我的选择就只有：1. 偷情（这既低劣又不道德，还会让人头痛焦虑）2. 等待那个神秘的“真命天子”出现，他会神奇地使我再也不对其他人感兴趣（我觉得这种说法肯定是忽悠人的）3. 从我那辉煌的岁月中退却，不再是那个自豪敢言的荡妇，扼杀我所珍爱的人生、人格和政治生活，内心渐渐萎缩。请给我指条明路吧。
—A Marxist-Feminist Slut
——一名马克思女权主义荡妇
Dear Slut,
亲爱的荡妇，
Yes, there are better options! With your new boyfriend, treat this as you would any other major difference you have before settling down together: patiently and by tolerating some contingencies. If you wanted to live on the noisiest corner in Bushwick and your partner was happiest in rural Tennessee, you might take turns living in each other’s preferred locale, finding unexpected delights there. Experiment with a period of monogamy—remember, many people are most jealousy-prone early in a relationship—on the condition that he agrees to consider other arrangements in the future. Or perhaps some adventures are more acceptable to him than others. (Group sex only? Dalliances that take place out of town? No exes or class enemies?) If so, are you open to such compromises? And please attend closely to the tone of these conversations—you need to be able to discuss your desires with him without being made to feel immoral, disgusting, or greedy. If such talks give you hope, hang in there! If not, he might not be your future baby daddy.
没问题，明路是有的！和应对其他重大分歧一样，和你的新男朋友耐心协商，容许一些未来的不确定性，两人携手回归平淡。如果你想在布什维克（
冬天毛注：位于纽约市布鲁克林区的社区
）最喧闹的一角定居，而你的伴侣喜欢田纳西州的乡村生活，你们就可以试试在各自偏爱的地点轮流生活，看看是不是会意外地喜欢上那里。如果他同意未来考虑不同的模式，那么你也可以尝试一段时间的一夫一妻制——记住，很多人在交往早期是最好妒的。另外，或许某些特殊方案对他来说比其他的更能接受。（仅限群交？仅限出城作乐？不准找前任或阶级敌人？）如果是这样的话，你愿意考虑作出这些让步吗？还有，请特别小心探讨时的腔调——你和他沟通愿望时，不能让他使你感觉自己不道德、恶心或贪婪。如果对话让你感到有戏，那就坚持住！如果不顺，那他恐怕就不是你未来的孩子他爹。
Which would be so sad! But there are men who want exactly what you want. You might have to approach finding them in a deliberate way, which can feel unromantic. Your OkCupid profile should state clearly that you are seeking open relationships only, and that you are looking for a long-term “primary” partner—no hookups. (Those last two words are painful for a slut to type, but if you don’t, you’re just going to continue hosting delightful libertines with no interest in making a domestic life with you.) A good friend of mine, annoyed by the very problem you name (men into open relationships without the relationship part), recently tried this, with excellent results. Also, find your local poly and open-love communities and attend their social events, where many men are seeking someone just like you. Given your political thinking, I’d love to suggest that starting an Engels reading group will bring the right boys to the yard, but alas, we know better: Radicals can be conservative in their personal lives.
这样的话就很不幸了！但和你想法完全一致的男人是存在的，你只是需要用一种刻意的方式去寻找他们，这可能不怎么浪漫。你的Ok丘比特（
冬天毛注：在线约会网站
）档案里应该注明你只寻求开放式关系，而且你寻求的是长期的“主要”伴侣——不是约炮。（对于一个荡妇来说，打出最后这半句应该很难，但你要是不说清，就只会继续招引些讨人喜欢的浪荡哥，这些人没兴趣跟你过日子）我的一位好友和你有同样的苦恼（男人只喜欢没有“关系”的开放式关系），她最近也试了这个办法，效果很棒。你还可以试试找到你本地的多角恋和开放恋爱社群，参加他们的社交活动，那里有很多男性想找的就是你这样的女性。考虑到你的政治思想，我建议你创建一个恩格斯读书小组，招引对路的人。哎，不过我们也清楚，一旦牵扯到个人生活，激进派人士也可以很保守。
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