写在前面
或许从长辈不断念叨的「别人家的孩子」开始，我们就习惯了「比较」与「被比较」。
长大之后，
在社交媒体的推波助澜下，
这种情况愈演愈烈，
无数人
终生
都困在比较的漩涡之中（be caught up in the comparison loop
）。
很多人不自觉地认为，「比同龄人好」远远比「自己好」更重要。即使自己一路走到现在，已经非常优秀、非常不容易了，但一旦稍稍落后于同龄人，依然会陷入严重的自我怀疑。
那么，我们如何停止与他人比较呢？今天想跟大家分享@Malama Life的一则视频：How to stop comparing yourself to others。
希望能给大家带来一些启发~ 我特别喜欢她的发音，自然、舒服、平和，很适合进行跟读和复述练习。
我分别做了无字幕版和英文字幕版，大家可以先挑战一下无字幕版，再带着问题看字幕，学习后文的语言点讲解。
在讲解过程中，我不会就词讲词，还会串联一些我以前积累的地道表达一起讲解。
同时，我也附上外刊、美剧、其他vlog里的例句，让大家借助不同语境更深刻地体会词汇表达的内涵，在口语和写作里才能精准输出~
This is something I've had to work really hard on, but I still feel jealous
at times
, and feel my old insecurities rise to the surface, when I feel like I
don't measure up to
something or someone, who's further along on my path.
🪴
at times
和
somet
imes
一样，指「有时，偶尔」，大家可以替换使用。
... but I still feel jealous at times.
即「但有时依然会嫉妒别人」。
我们来随手造个句：
Daily life may feel mundane
at times
, but I love to feel the subtle beauty and take comfort in simplicity.
🪴
measure up to sb
指「比得过某人」
(to
be good enough, or as good as
someone or something else)
。
don't measure up to sb 便指「比不过某人」。
measure up to
后面还可以跟物：
measure up to sth
指「达到」某个标准、「符合」...预期。
比如：
She could never
measure up to
her mother's expectations.
她可能永远都无法满足她母亲的期望。
But
the moment
I compare myself to a peer, who seems to be doing better than me, it
invalidates
everything I built for myself.
🪴
the moment (that)..., ...
指「一...，就...」。
很多同学一想到「一...就...」，第一反应就是as soon as，下次我们在口语里，也可以替换成the moment that...
大家想想看下面这句话用英文怎么说？
他说我一到家就给你打电话。
👉
He said he would phone you the moment he got home.
再举一个我在电影《小妇人》里遇见的一句话：
If had my own money, which I don't, that money would belong to my husband
the moment
we got married.
🪴invalidate
[ɪnˈvælɪdeɪt] 由in（无）+valid（有效的）+date合成，指「使...没有价值，使...站不住脚」
(to prove that an opinion, argument, etc. is wrong)
。
invalidate everything I built for myself
便指「让自己构建的一切作废」。
invalidate
后面还可以跟法律、合同等等，指「使...无效，使...作废」。
举个《经济学人》里的例子：
The European Court of Justice
invalidated
that law in 2014, after numerous countries challenged it in court, saying that it interfered with “the fundamental rights to respect for private life”.
2014年，欧洲法院宣布该法无效，因为许多国家在法庭上对它提出质疑，称它干涉了“尊重私人生活的基本权利”。
🪴反义词为
validate
，指「证实，使...合法化，使...生效」。
举个《英文系主任》里的例子
：
Yeah, I'm not about to
validate
the total absurdity of this proceeding.
validate sb / sth
还可表示「认可...，承认...的价值」。
🪴名词形式为
validation
[ˌvæli'deiʃən]
，
如果要表达「外界的认可」，我们就可以说
external val
idation
。
谷爱凌一篇发表在《纽约时报》上的文章就用到了这个词：
As I enter my early adulthood, I’m proud of the work I’ve done to cope with pressure by bolstering my self-esteem and minimizing my need for
external validation.
随着步入成年，我能够依靠提升自尊和减少对外界认可的需求来应对压力，对此我感到十分自豪。
We're only two years part, so naturally our families would always compare us to each other.
如何表达「和兄弟姐妹相差XX岁」呢？博主用了
apart
这个词：
🪴
时间+apart
可以表示「相差...，相距...」。
再举个例子：我们俩的生日正好相差一个月。
Our birthdays are exactly a month apart.
And even if I know that it was with good intentions, it was sometimes really hurtful.
🪴 good intentions
指「好意」。
🪴 with good intentions
指「带着好意」。
这句话咱们可以直接积累下来：
Even if I know that it is / was with good intentions, it ...
尽管我知道那是出于好意的，但是...
我们也可以说：
Even if sb has good intentions, ...
尽管某人是好意，但是...
举个例子：
Even if I know that it is with good intentions, her constant advice can sometimes be overwhelming.
类似的表达还有：
sb comes from a good place.
sb means well.
sth is done with the best of intentions.
sb / sth is well-intentioned.
这些词都可以表示「出于好心」。
大家重点记一个就行。
我们可以把博主的这句话改写为：
I know that
they came from a good place
, but sometimes I felt really hurt.
Even if I know that
they meant well
, sometimes I fe
lt really hurt.
I know that
it was well-intentioned
,
it was sometimes really hurtful.
我们再来
看几个美剧里的例子:
Look, you're coming from a good place.
I‘m sure he means well.
I'm sure you mean well.
再举两个《经济学人》里的例子：
Today such children will spend most of their time indoors, often with adults rather than with siblings or friends, be supervised more
closely, be driven everywhere rather than walk or cycle, take part in many more organised activities and, probably
for several hours
every day, engage with a screen of some kind. All this
is done with the best of intentions.
今天，孩子们大部分时间都待在室内，通常是和成年人而不是兄弟姐妹或朋友在一起，被更密切地监督，去哪里都有
⻋接送而不是自己走路或骑⻋，参加多得多的有组织的活动，还很可能每天都要花几个小时在某种屏幕前面。而所有
这一切都是出于最好的意图。
The new rules are
well-intentioned.
State aid can distort competition; bail-in is designed to protect taxpayers from paying for bank failures.
新规则本是用心良苦。国家援助会扭曲竞争，而内部纾困的目的则是保护纳税人不用为银行倒闭买单。
It's just impossible to compare two completely different things, let alone two unique and complex human beings. This
doesn't just apply to
my sister and me, but also to all of us.
🪴
let alone sb / sth
指「更不用说...」。类似的表达还有
not to mention sth
,
to say nothing of sth
。
🪴 sth applies to sb.
指「... 适用于某人」
(to have an effect on or to concern a particular person, group, or situation)
。
sth does not just apply to A, but also to B.
便指「...不仅适用于A，也适用于B」。
not just 和not only, not merely一样，表示「不仅」。
我们现学现卖，联系「职场歧视」话题造个句：
Many companies are still failing to offer women equal opportunities.
This does not only apply to
pay,
but also
to opportunities to develop careers.
许多公司仍然未能为妇女提供平等的机会。这不仅体现在薪酬方面，还体现在职业发展机会方面。
in every possible way
是一个高频词组，指「在任何一个可能的方面」，也就是强调「每一个方面」。
But it was really difficult for me to know this at a young age, because I always felt like I was living in her shadows.
博主用了下面这个词：
live in one's shadow
指「活在...的阴影下」。我们也可以说
live under one's shadow
。
比如：
A younger son often lives in the shadow of his elder brother.
弟弟往往生活在哥哥的阴影下。
That's when the insecurities and dissatisfaction with our own lives will creep in slowly.
🪴 creep
这个词大家最熟悉的是「爬」这个意思。它的基本还有是「悄悄地移动，蹑手蹑脚地移动」。
因此，短语
creep in
表示「不知不觉地出现」
(If something creeps in or creeps back, it begins to occur or becomes part of something without people realizing or without them wanting it)
，主语常常是不好的事物，尤其是负面情绪。
比如：
Insecurity might creep in.
可能会不知不觉地产生不安全感。
考研英语二2014年 Text1里也出现过这个词：
What was once exciting and new becomes old-hat；re
gret
creeps in.
曾经令人兴奋又新奇的东西变得陈旧过时，懊悔悄然而至。
🪴 如果我们想表达某种情绪、感受「很强烈，深入人心」。
我们可以说
sth runs deep
。
比如：
Her love for basketball runs deep. That's for sure.
她对篮球爱得深沉，这是肯定的。
再比如外媒一篇关于台剧《不够善良的我们》的文章有这样一句话：
But jealousy
runs deep
between their characters.
她们在剧中饰演的角色对彼此非常嫉妒。
此时
run
是一个系动词，指「变得」，相当于become，后面常跟形容词。
🪴如果我们想表达情感的「突然迸发、涌现」。
我们可以说
feel a surge of sth
。
举个英剧《生命不息》里的例子：
She felt a surge of victory.
再比如：
She felt a sudden surge of anger.
她突然感觉怒火中烧。
He was overcome by a sudden surge of jealousy.
他突然妒火中烧。
She is
a straight-A student
, very beautiful, incredibly talented in everything she pursues, just
has everything going for
her. But my path didn't always look like hers.
🪴a straight-A students
门门拿A的学生，也就是「优等生」。
🪴have everything going for sb / sth
是个词组，指「拥有所有有利条件」，用大白话说就是「什么都好」。
中间
everything
也可以换成
a lot
,
nothing
等词。
再举个例子：
You're young, intelligent, attractive—you have a lot going for you!
你年轻、聪明、漂亮，有利条件可多啦！
Stop being so depressed. You have a lot going for you.
别这么沮丧，你有很多有利条件。
I feel like now we all know that social media is just
a highlight reel of
everybody's lives. But at the same time, it's really difficult when you
are scrolling through perfectly curated images
, and people who look like yourself, and really feel like your life doesn't measure up to theirs.
🪴
a highlight reel of sth
highlight
作名词，指「高光时刻」。
a reel of sth
本来是「一卷...」。比如：
a reel of film
一卷胶卷 👇
a highlight reel of one's lives
便可以理解为「某人生活里高光时刻的展示」，非常形象的一个表达。
Social media is just
a highlight reel of
everybody's lives.
这句话大家可以直接背下来，用来表达「社交媒体只会展示每个人生活里的高光时刻」。
我在另一则vlog的评论区里也碰到了这个词，这句话说得非常好：
The reality is you can't truly compare yourself to others, because when you do it, you're not actually comparing yourself to others, but you're comparing your behind-the-scenes to
someone's highlight reel.
现实情况是，你无法真正将自己与他人比较，因为当你这样做时，你实际上不是在将自己与他人对比，而是在将自己幕后的真实生活与他人台前的高光时刻比。
🪴
scroll
本来是指用来书写文件的「长卷纸」或者「卷轴」，因为它特别长，所以阅读时需要让它在手上不断向前滚动，直到读完所有信息。
我们在手机或电脑屏幕上阅读长文时也是如此，用手指或鼠标让信息不断向上滚动，这个动作也叫
scroll
，即「滚屏阅览」，也就是我们常说的「刷…」，中英
文说法都非常形象。
介词搭配为
scroll through sth
。
举个例子：我当时正刷着抖音，不知不觉就凌晨两点了！
I was scrolling through TikTok videos and before I knew it, it was two am in the morning!
我们再来看个美剧里的例子：
It takes me, like, an hour to scroll through everything.
🪴
curate
为动词，本义是「策划」展览，现在也常用来指「精心策划，精心打造」。
这里
perfectly curated images
便指「精心拍摄的图片」。
再比如：精心策划的推送：
curated feeds
精心打造的人设：
a carefully curated persona
如果谈到社交媒体的负面影响，我们就可以这么说：
The carefully curated personas
and
well crafted images
that users see on social media can create unrealistic expectations and contribute to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth.
🪴
have sb's life put together
这是一个词组，形容一个人「人生过得井井有条，有条不紊，各方面都很成功」。
我还联想到另一个词组，
get one's life together
。
get sth together
指「调整...」。我们既可以说
get one's life together
调整好生活，也可以说
get oneself together
把自己调整好，
有点类似于现在流行说的「支棱起来」。
我在另一则vlog里也遇见过这个词，把它翻了出来，分享给大家
I'm not gonna apologize for
getting my life together.
He
has got his life together
, and he's helping me stay on track.
I actually pride myself on not being easily persuaded, but I have also been very much influenced by social media.
🪴
pride oneself on sth
是个词组，指「为...感到自豪，对...感到得意」，可与
be proud of sth
同义替换。但注意pride oneself on sth 后面往往会有转折。
我们再来看两个英美剧里的例子：
We are still a school that prides itself on excellence.
You know, I pride myself on solving people's problems.
congratulate oneself on sth
指「因...为自己感到高兴/自豪」
(to feel pleased and proud of yourself because you have achieved
something or something good has happened to you)
。
比如：
You
can congratulate yourself on
having done an excellent job.
你应该为你出色的工作感到自豪。
We
should remember that before
congratulating ourselves on
being more enlightened than our ancestors.
在因为自己比祖先更开明而沾沾自喜之前，我们要谨记这一点。
You don't need to
congratulate someone on
being gay.
We can it "
keeping up with the Joneses
" or "the comparison trap", but the point is, it's gonna
leave us feeling really empty
, because we're just ultimately chasing an illusion.
🪴
leave sb feeling adj.
便指「让某人感觉...」。
leave sb feeling really empty
即「让某人感到非常空虚」。
再举个外刊里的例子👇
注意小词
leave
这里的用法， 表示「让某人处于...状态」，其后不仅可以跟现在分词doing sth，也可跟形容词、介词、过去分词等等。
举个英剧《万物既伟大又渺小》里的例子：
We would never leave animals in distress.
🪴
keep up the Joneses
是个习语，指「攀比，比排场，比阔气」
(to try to have all the possessions and social achievements that your friends and neighbours have)
。
🪴
the comparison trap
指「比较的陷阱」。
