异性恋中存在男方和女方，那么同性关系中也一样吗？女同性恋者中是否也存在“男性”的一方呢？
谁是同性恋中的男性？
作者：Arwa M
ahdawi
译者：黄倩霞
校对：
刘 璠
策划：唐 萧
'Who's the man?'
Why the gender divide in same-sex relationships is a farce
谁是同性恋中的男性
？
为什么说在同性关系中划分性别是很荒唐的？
本文选自 The Guardian | 取经号原创翻译
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What do gay women do in the bedroom? It is a
conundrum
, I have found, that seems to weigh heavily on many an inquiring heterosexual mind. Who makes the bed, for example? Who folds the laundry? Who pulls out the drill to hang a picture?
女同性恋在家做什么？这
很难回
答
，但我发现异性恋都对这个问题颇感兴趣，想要一探究竟。比方说，谁铺床？谁叠衣服？挂照片的时候，谁用钻孔机？
conundrum
[kə’nʌndrəm] n. a confusing and difficult problem 难题，复杂难解的问题
A new study, presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association, found that when it comes to same-sex couples, most Americans believe the “more masculine” partner and the “more feminine” partner should be responsible for stereotypically male and female chores. The study also found that people were more likely to consider there to be a distinct “man” and a “woman” in lesbian relationships than they were when it came to gay male couples. Probably, you know, because the idea of there being no male presence at all in a relationship is utterly
unfathomable
.
美国社会学协会在年会上公布了一项新的研究，该研究表明大多数美国人都认为同性伴侣当中存在“更男性”和“更女性的”一方，对应承担男性、女性在家务劳动中的固有角色。研究还发现相比男同性恋，人们更倾向于认为女同性恋关系中，有更“男性”和更“女性”的一方。也许是因为，倘若一段关系中完全没有男性存在的话，实在是太
令人费解
了。
unfathomable
[ʌn'fæð(ə)məb(ə)l] adj. too strange or mysterious to be understood 莫测高深的，难以理解的
I’ve spent most of my relationship years in same-sex relationships. During this time many a moron has asked me “who is the man?” Normally I have ignored these people. However, this study made me rethink my views. If there’s a wholeay to get out of doing the cooking and cleaning, I’m interested. And if that means having to proclaim yourself “the man” in a relationship, then so be it.
这些年来，我大多数时候是与同性交往。最近很多蠢货问我：“你们两人中谁是男的？”通常我会无视这些人。但这项研究让我开始重新思考自己的立场。如果谈论这个话题能让我不用洗衣做饭，我很乐意。但如果这意味着非要让我说我是两人中的“男人”才行，那还不如不谈。
But how does one even figure out who the more feminine or masculine person in a relationship is? Physical appearance is obviously a major factor in how people initially pigeonhole you. Interestingly, however, the ASA study didn’t touch on physical appearance at all. Rather it asked people to look at vignettes describing fictional couples. The study introduced stereotypically gendered traits via interests (for example, a preference for action movies versus
romco
m
s
) and then asked participants to assign household chores to each couple. (It should be noted that the survey responses came from a nationally representative. These people were 92% heterosexual, so responses don’t necessarily reflect how LGB people think.)
人们如何辨别出一段关系中谁更男性化谁更女性化呢？外表显然是一个最主要的因素，它决定了人们对你的第一主观印象。有趣的是，美国社会学协会的研究根本没有涉及外表这一要素。反倒让参与者们观看虚构的情侣短片。这项研究以兴趣为切入点，展示了对不同性别特点的刻板形象（比如喜欢看动作片还是
浪漫感情剧
），并让参与者为每一对伴侣分配家务。（需要注意的是，这项调查的参与者们来自全国各地，且其中92%是异性恋，所以未必能代表性少数群体的想法。）
romcom
/ˈrɒmˌkɒm/ n. a film or television comedy based around the romantic relationships of the characters 浪漫戏剧影片; 浪漫电视戏剧
For example, one of the vignettes concerned a couple called Amy and Jennifer. Respondents were told that Amy (a reporter) and Jennifer (a physical therapist) worked the same hours, but Jennifer makes more than double Amy’s salary. On the weekend “Amy usually wants to play basketball if they are going out, or watch an action movie if they are staying in. Instead, Jennifer would rather go shopping or watch a romantic comedy.” Because she liked romcom and shopping, most people decided Jennifer was the woman in the relationship, which meant she did the stereotypically woman’s work.
比如，其中一个短片介绍了一对同性伴侣：艾米和詹妮弗。参与者被告知，艾米是一名记者，詹妮弗是一名理疗师，她们工作时间相同，但詹妮弗的收入是艾米的两倍。周末，“艾米通常喜欢出门打篮球或者在家看动作片，而詹妮弗则会去购物或看浪漫喜剧片。”因为詹妮弗喜欢看言情剧和购物，所以大多数人认为她是这段关系中较“女性”的一方，也就意味着她要做传统概念里“女性”该做的事。
So was I an Amy or a Jennifer? After considered analysis I decided my enthusiasm for the Fast and the Furious franchise made me more of an Amy. But what about my girlfriend? Could she be an Amy too? How would sociology deal with that? I promptly texted my girlfriend with the Amy/Jennifer preferred-activity quiz. “I just really feel like I can’t be defined in a multiple-choice format,” she replied.This is typical of the way in which women can never give you a straight answer and a very Jennifer thing to say. Ergo, according to the court of heterosexual opinion, she should be doing more grocery shopping. Phew!
所以我是艾米还是詹妮弗呢？大概是艾米吧，因为我喜欢看速度与激情。那我的女朋友呢？她为什么不能也是艾米呢？社会学会如何解释这个问题呢？我立刻把艾米/詹妮弗应该做什么家务的测试发给了我女朋友。“我只觉得，一张多选题表格真没办法定义我。”这是她的回答。通常对这种问题，女性都不会直接给你答案，也不会告诉你詹妮弗应该做什么。按照异性恋者的观点，大概会是，她应该多去杂货店买买东西。
The ASA isn’t the first organisation to conduct a study like this. Research suggests that same-sex couples have more equal relationships than their heterosexual counterparts and share more childcare responsibilities. Nevertheless one person still tends to end up doing more of the chores. Indeed, a 2015 study by the Families and Work Institute (FWI) found that there were only two household tasks in which same-sex couples were more likely to share responsibility than heterosexual couples: laundry (44% versus 31%) and household repair (33% versus 15%). However, there was no evidence to suggest gendered household identities responsibilities in same-sex couples had anything to do with one person choosing to roleplay “the man” and one “the woman”.
美国社会学协会不是第一个做此类研究的机构。有研究表明，同性伴侣比异性伴侣拥有更平等的关系，在抚养孩子时承担的责任也更平均。然而，仍然有一方承担了更多的家庭事务。事实上，家庭与工作协会2015年的研究表明，相比异性伴侣，同性伴侣也仅有在两件家务劳动中承担了更平等的责任：洗衣服（44%的同性伴侣会一起洗衣服，而异性伴侣的比例只有31%）和家庭维修（前者33%，后者15%）。然而，仍未有证据表明，同性伴侣之间，由各自承担的家务所体现出的性别特征，与选择在这段关系中扮演“男性”角色还是“女性”角色有什么关联。
When I quizzed a number of my gay friends about their allocation of household tasks in a highly scientific WhatsApp focus group, some noted that they’ve sometimes found themselves slipping into stereotypically Amy/Jennifer situations. “When I’ve dated girly girls I find myself feeling more masculine, inclined to hold the door, pick up the check more, etc,” noted H. “I think gender roles are similar to sexuality,” said M. “It’s fluid and can change based on the person you are dating at the time.”
我通过WhatsApp焦点小组对一些同性恋朋友开展了调查，科学性地研究他们是如何分配家务劳动的。一些人说他们有时候会陷入艾米/詹妮弗的情景当中。“和比较女孩子气的女生约会时，我就会变得偏男性化一些，往往会为对方扶住门，也会负责买单等等。”H说。“我觉得性别角色更像是性倾向，”M说，“它是不固定的，会随着约会对象发生改变。”
Sometimes your gender role can also change based on the task at hand. My friend V notes that she often jokingly
play
s
up
being the femme one in her relationship in order to avoid taking the garbage out.
有时候性别角色也会随着一些手边的事情发生改变。我的朋友V说，她经常半开玩笑地
强调
自己是两人中较女性的一方，因为她不想出去丢垃圾。
play sth. up
to try to make sth seem more important than it is 夸大…的重要性；渲染；吹嘘
Ultimately I think Judith Butler had
the last
sensible word on all of this. “Gay is to straight not as copy is to original, but, rather, as copy is to copy,” she famously wrote. In other words it doesn’t matter where you are on the sexuality spectrum – all gender is performance. While some feminists have seen butch/femme dynamics as regressive – a misguided reflection of heterosexual norms – Butler views this performance as effectively unveiling just how constructed heterosexuals norms are in the first place. After all, once you start unpacking the mental process of figuring out who is best suited to take out the trash based on the who’d rather watch Fast 7 or Love Actually, it’s hard not to realize that maybe the idea of “feminine” chores and “masculine” chores is really a lot of nonsense.
总而言之，对于以上种种，朱迪斯·巴特勒提出了
最不
合情理的说法。“同性恋不是异性恋的摹本，而是彼此的副本。”她这句话闻名遐迩。换句话说，不论你在性频谱上处于哪一位置，性别都只是一种表演。一些女权主义者认为，女同性恋中存在男性一方和女性一方的动态模式是一种退化——一种建立在异性恋基准上的误读。而巴特勒则认为这种性别表演有效地揭示了已经建立起来的异性恋基准是如何占有主导地位的。用喜欢看《速度与激情7》还是《真的恋爱了》来决定谁更适合去丢垃圾。一旦开始思考这背后的逻辑，也就不难理解为何“女性”家务事、“男性”家务事这样的划分是一派胡言了。
the last
[ði/ ðə] [lɑːst] adj. the least likely or suitable 最不合适的
There is still a huge chore gap in heterosexual America; one that has barely closed in the last 10 years. If housework is finally going to become more equally allocated among straight couples then perhaps the best thing for everyone to do would be to sit down with their partners and have a long discussion about whether they’re an “Amy” or a “Jennifer”. By the end even the most hardened essentialist might be convinced that gender isn’t just a performance – sometimes it’s a farce.
