《时代周刊》高分写作精讲：通过主观判断论据提出论点 & 巧用条件状语实现因果过渡

🔳 第6期 精讲段落一: 通过主观判断论据提出论点

摘录选自 TIME / January 27, 2025/ Page 18:

① As a journalist reporting on the culture of work in American life, I found that the unnerving consequences from this social and civic decay go well beyond what the data conveys. ② We already know that Americans are working longer hours than most of our peer nations with less money and less stability to show for it. ③ For many people, the cost of living has increasingly turned free time into a luxury. ④ And, in the place of in-person socialization, we’ve bent our necks toward our screens. ⑤ And while it may feed us an endless stream of perfect Corgi videos, it also has allowed work to seep into our off hours and has facilitated an unprecedented loneliness crisis among younger Americans.

作为一名研究美国职场文化的记者, 我发现, 社会和公共生活的衰退所带来的后果, 远比数据呈现的更加可怕。 我们已经知道, 相较于大多数同水平发达国家, 美国人的工作时间更长, 但收入却更低, 稳定性也更差。对于大多数人来说, 生活成本的攀升越来越让闲暇时间成为一种奢侈品。而且, 我们不再面对面交流, 而是低头盯着屏幕。尽管手机屏幕不断推送治愈系的柯基视频, 却也让工作渗透进我们的私人时间, 并且加剧了美国年轻人前所未有的孤独危机。

🔲 全文:

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🔲 高分写作亮点:

As a journalist reporting on the culture of work in American life, I found that the unnerving consequences from this social and civic decay go well beyond what the data conveys .

(第一句)

这篇文章出自《时代周刊》, 作者借用美国社会学家雷·奥尔登堡 (Ray Oldenburg) 的“第三空间”概念, 提出了对“第三生活”的设想。 第三空间是指家庭和工作场所以外的非正式社交场所, 咖啡馆、理发店、图书馆这些地方有着提升文化活力、增强社区凝聚力的作用 , 而奥尔登堡担忧这些作用已经不如以往。作者在文章中引用了两则数据:

According to the 2021 Census Bureau’s Time Use Survey, Americans were already spending significantly less time with friends before the pandemic rearranged life entirely. Our collective isolation has only metastasized since then. In 2024, a staggering 17% of Americans claimed to have zero friends, up from 1% in 1990, around when Oldenburg was first urging caution.

根据2021年人口普查局的时间使用调查, 在疫情还没彻底改变人们的生活时, 美国人就已经大大减少了与朋友相处的时间。我们的集体隔离也在此后逐渐扩散开来。到2024年, 有17%的美国人声称自己没有朋友, 而在奥尔登堡首次呼吁人们关注问题的1990年, 这个数字才只有1%。

接着, 在摘录段落的开头, 作者根据这个数据拓展视野, 突出了自己的主张, 表达还有更多主观或难以量化、但更为具体的社会趋势, 从而进一步吸引读者关注文章的后续论述。

这个主干句型不是在进一步呈现数据、描述“衰退”的现象, 而是强调实际的现象远远超过数据所能揭示的程度, 带有作者的论断和主张, 也为后续的具体事例或分析搭建了一个总体框架。

我们可以用“ go beyond what the numbers/data/statistics + show/reveal/account for ”这样的搭配来强调数据之外的现实问题。 这个句型后面一般要紧跟相关的说明, 可以是具体的事例, 也可以引出写作者主张的原因或目的。 比如下面的例句中, 这个句型被转用为定语, 而主句中说明了原因 :

报刊例句摘录:

In Sri Lanka over a quarter of percent children under five who are moderately or severely underweight ranked 59th in the Children's index. STC states that over 90 percent of children in Sri Lanka have access to drinking water. Save the children report arguing that statistics go beyond the numbers pointed out that the human despair and lost opportunities are represented in these numbers that demand mothers everywhere be given the basic tools they need to break the cycle of poverty and improve the quality of life for themselves, their children, and for generations to come.

在斯里兰卡, 五岁以下儿童中体重中度或严重不足的比例超过四分之一, 在儿童指数中排名第59位。STC指出, 斯里兰卡90%以上的儿童都能获得饮用水。“拯救儿童”报告认为, 统计数据不只是数字。这些数字背后还代表着人类的绝望和失去的机会, 也提出了一种要求, 那就是必须给予世界各地的母亲们打破贫困循环、改善自身、子女和后代生活质量所需的基本工具。

(摘自BBC文章“Sri Lanka falls behind in Mothers' ranking”)

但同学们也要注意, 这个主干句型并 不适用于雅思作文TASK 1的图表类写作 , 因为这类题目要求围绕图表数据作出趋势、对比等分析, 并仅就题目给出的信息来解释总结。

而摘录句型暗含了对唯数据论的反对立场, 或者是对样本代表性不足等问题的批判立场。 这也是作者为什么在第一句的开头强调了自己的记者身份, 因为记者有着丰富的采访和观察经验, 而这些经验能补充和超越单纯的数据分析, 提供更全面的视角和更深层次的社会观察。

🔲 逐句精讲:

【第一句】 As a journalist reporting on the culture of work in American life, I found that the unnerving consequences from this social and civic decay go well beyond what the data conveys.

🔘 小词批注:

• find that… 发现; 示例: The study found that… 这项研究发现

• unnerving adj. 令人紧张的, 令人不安的

• unnerve v. 使紧张, 使缺乏信心, 使恐惧

• nerve n. 神经; 勇气, 胆量, 魄力

• nerve oneself 鼓足勇气

• consequence n. (常指不好的) 结果, 后果

• civic adj. 市民的, 城市的

• decay n. 腐败, 衰败, 衰弱

• go well beyond 远远超出

• convey v. 传达, 表达

【第二句】 We already know that Americans are working longer hours than most of our peer nations with less money and less stability to show for it .

🔘 重点知识:

习惯用语“ have something/nothing to show for something ” 指“从中受益/一无所获” , 即: If you have something/nothing to show for your work or effort, you have/have not won any advantage from it.

示例:

• I worked for two weeks, and $50 was all I had to show for it . 我工作了两星期, 所得到的酬劳只有50美元。

• I've been trying to write this essay all day and I have nothing to show for it . 我一整天都在努力写这篇文章, 可是没什么进展。

🔘 小词批注:

• peer n. 同龄人, 同辈, 同等社会地位或能力的人

• stability n. 稳定, 稳固

• stable adj. 稳定的, 稳固的

【第三句】 For many people, the cost of living has increasingly turned free time into a luxury.

🔘 重点知识:

“ cost of living ”为固定说法, 表示“生活费用”; 工资停滞不前, 通胀居高不下, “ cost-of-living crisis ” (生活成本危机) 是近年来外刊报道的热点, 参考BBC对英国“生活成本危机”的注解:

Throughout history, the cost of most goods and services tends to increase over time. For example, the Bank of England found that in 1990 the average price of a pint of milk was 25p. But in 2020, that same pint of milk would cost a buyer around 42p. This price difference is known as inflation, which measures how quickly the price of something rises over a year. While the price difference between a 1990 pint of milk and a 2020 pint of milk is a big change, that change happened over 20 years and in that period, average wages for workers increased as well. But in 2021 the average price of a pint of milk rose very quickly - faster than the rate at which the average worker's wages increased. The Office for National Statistics found that in September 2021 a pint of milk was 43p - but a year and a half later, in March 2023 the average price of a pint of milk was 70p. This is just one example of the many everyday items that rose in price. From bread to electricity, apples to petrol - living in the UK has very quickly become much more expensive.

纵观历史, 大多数商品和服务的价格往往会随着时间推移而上涨。例如, 英格兰银行发现, 1990年一品脱牛奶的平均价格为25便士, 而到了2020年, 同样的一品脱牛奶价格约为42便士。 这种价格差异被称为通货膨胀, 用于衡量某物价格一年内上涨的速度。 虽然1990年和2020年的牛奶价格差异很大, 但这一变化发生在20年间, 期间工人的平均工资也有所增加。 然而, 2021年牛奶价格快速上涨, 超过了工人平均工资的增长速度。 国家统计局数据显示, 2021年9月一品脱牛奶的价格为43便士, 但仅一年半后, 到2023年3月, 这一价格已涨至70便士。这只是众多日常商品涨价的一个例子。 从面包到电力, 从苹果到汽油, 英国的生活成本迅速攀升。

🔘 小词批注:

• increasingly adv. 越来越多地, 不断增加地

• turn (someone/something) into someone/something (使) 变成, (使) 成为

• free time 空闲时间, 自由时间, 业余时间

• luxury n. 奢侈, 奢侈品

【第四句】 And, in the place of in-person socialization, we’ve bent our necks toward our screens .

🔘 重点知识:

原文此处“we’ve bent our necks toward our screens”字面为“把脖子弯向 (手机) 屏幕”, 实际在讲“低头族”的现象 , 外刊报道中的相关概念比如“ tech neck ”、“ screen time overload ”、“ phubbing ”。

“ tech neck ” (科技颈) 也作“ text neck ” (短信颈), 指经常低头看手机导致的“肩颈痛”。 参考英国The Telegraph《电讯报》摘录: Smartphone users are increasingly turning to Botox jabs to cure “tech neck” – pain and inflammation from time hunched over devices . 越来越多的智能手机用户通过注射肉毒杆菌来治疗“科技颈”, 这种颈痛和炎症是由于长时间低头使用设备引起的。

“ screen time overload ” (屏幕时间过载) 顾名思义, 指的就是电子屏幕上工作或娱乐花费了过多时间 , 可能会导致“心烦意乱” (distracted)、“焦虑” (anxious) 甚至“抑郁” (depressed)。参考The New York Times《纽约时报》摘录: I realized speaking with other parents that we all felt paralyzed about our kids and screen overload and that it's only getting worse. 我和其他家长聊天时发现, 我们对孩子过度使用屏幕都感到束手无策, 而且情况只会越来越糟。

“ phubbing ”指“低头症”, 来自“phone”与“snubbing”的结合 , “snubbing”的动词原形“snub”表示“冷落, 怠慢”, 因此这个组合词被用来描述那种忽略你身边的人、只关心手机的行为。衍生词“ phubber ”就是“低头族”的意思。

🔘 小词批注:

• in place of someone/something 代替, 取代

• in person 亲自, 本人

• socialize v. 参加社交活动, 交际

• bend v. (使) 弯曲 (过去式和过去分词为“bent”)

• neck n. 颈, 脖子

• screen n. 屏幕

【第五句】 And while it may feed us an endless stream of perfect Corgi videos, it also has allowed work to seep into our off hours and has facilitated an unprecedented loneliness crisis among younger Americans.

🔘 重点信息:

此处“an unprecedented loneliness crisis” (前所未有的孤独危机) 涉及一个新造的术语“ the loneliness epidemic ”, 外媒开始将“孤独”描述为一种“疫情”, 调查发现, 孤独感在发达国家大幅提升 。在美国就有超过半数的受访者表示自己感到寂寞或孤立, 而这与是否住得偏僻毫无关系。有许多人住在拥挤、甚至充满了社交机会的环境, 但还是感到孤独。参考Fortune《财富》杂志摘录: Japan's loneliness epidemic is so bad that elderly women are committing crimes to find friends and health care in prison. 日本的孤独问题已达到危机程度, 有老年女性甚至故意犯罪, 以便在监狱中获得朋友和医疗服务。

🔘 小词批注:

• feed v. 提供食物; 供给, 供应

• endless (= end + -less) adj. 无休止的, 无穷尽的

• -less (后缀) 表示“没有, 无”

• stream n. 水流; 流

• seep into 渗入

• off hours 下班时间, 非营业时间, 非工作时间

• facilitate v. 促进, 促使, 促成

• unprecedented adj. 前所未有的, 史无前例的

• loneliness n. 孤独, 寂寞

🔳 第6期 精讲段落二: 巧用条件状语实现因果过渡

摘录选自 TIME /January 27, 2025/Page 18:

① If third places once represented readymade outlets for community, then in their growing absence, we should look to create what I’d call “third lives.” ② Whether it’s through a noble commitment to volunteering, a noble commitment to something new that we’re simply terrible at doing, talking to new people, or the steady building of regular social outings, creating a framework that is safe from the reach of obligation or the temptation of performative busyness is a higher calling for this lonely and polarized moment.

如果说“第三空间”曾经是现成的社区活动场所, 那么在这些场所逐渐消失的当下, 我们应该努力创作一种我称之为“第三人生”的生活方式。 无论是通过投身志愿服务、尝试不擅长的新事物, 还是结识新朋友, 或是养成定期社交的习惯, 关键在于构建一个不受义务束缚、摆脱表演性忙碌的安全空间, 以应对当今社会的孤独与分裂。

🔲 高分写作亮点:

If third places once represented readymade outlets for community, then in their growing absence, we should look to create what I’d call “third lives.”

(第一句)

在摘录句中, 作者从前文借鉴的“第三空间”理论过渡到了自己的“第三生活”设想。