各位好，欢迎来到写作专栏的第七期，关于作文专栏的介绍可见怎样写一篇作文？
修改是写作非常重要的一个环节，只有善于修改和总结，才能不断进步。除了常规的人工修改之外，有时候我们可以借助一些工具来帮助我们发现写作中的问题，比如今天要介绍的 Grammarly.
Grammarly 是国外一款跨平台写作纠错工具，它可以提供拼写校正，语境分析下的词汇应用纠正，语法规则纠正，标点符号纠正，句式架构纠正等功能，付费版应用还能提供文章类型预判，文章原创性检查以及用词风格推荐等高级功能。
我之前曾经对 Grammarly进行过测试，对于常见的语法错误，一般情况下它都能检测出来，但对于复杂一点的时态以及用词错误，它的检测精度还不够高。比如对于下面这段话：
Being admitted to university is a step towards adulthood, which puts a high value on independence. Some university students is opting to live with parents rather than independently living in other cities during university.
Grammarly 可以检测出其中的第三人称单数问题：Some university students is 应该改为 Some university students are，但是识别不出另外两个用词问题：Being admitted to university 应该改为 Being admitted to universities，rather than independently living in ... 应该改为 rather than live independently in ...
从这一点来看，Grammarly 更加适合作为一个写作的辅助检查工具。平时写完作文后可以放到 grammarly里面看一看，排除基本问题后再做进一步修改，提高语法正确率。
Grammarly 应用的地址是：https://app.grammarly.com，感兴趣的同学可以试用。
今天要分析的作文题目是：
In many less-developed countries, the gap in the standard of living between the city and the countryside is very large. What are the reasons? How could the gap be reduced?
这是原始作文版本：
习作/XC
Almost every country has the urban-rural gap, but due to history, economy and polity etc. this gulf in developed countries pale in comparison with developing counties’. Reasons for the urban-rural gap in many less-developed countries abound, but historically dual economy and political system stand out and measures could certainly be taken to narrow this gap.
Long-term existence of dual economic system appears to make the chasm between urban and rural areas. Historically, some industrialized countries’ colonial rule and economic robbery badly damaged economies of undeveloped colonies. Although those colonies subsequently gained independence, they still had to face ailing economy colonists left. In order to fight widespread poverty, some of them, such as China, devised the dual economic system to give priority to developing the industry in cities. In fact, subsequent economic miracle of Chinese cities is achieved at expense of rural capital, labor, land and raw material. The dual economic system might result in a great disparity between cities and countryside in developing countries.
Additionally, the partition of urban-rural policy in less-developed countries seems to be another contributor to this inequality. For instance, China's hook – household registration – system has divided the nation into rural and urban populations since the 1950s. In the past, it binds farmers to their farmland and traps them in agriculture to support towns. Today, although farmers can migrate into cities to find jobs, but rural hukou means they are not entitled to many services of cities, such as education, social security, since the hukou is inherited. Thus, unreasonable state policies only exploiting labour and resources but no channeling back equal income and investment into the rural are doomed to widen the rural-urban gulf.
There are several ways in which the gap could be reduced. For economy, developing countries should drive the industry to nurture agriculture and push cities to support countryside in general. Not only should the government reform rural finance to help migrant workers have stable life in cities, such as buying or renting accommodations, setting up small businesses, but also support farmers who remain in the countryside to improve productions and efficiency, such as purchasing new equipment for farming, building new facilities for crops or farms.
As for policies, less-developed states should adopt bold political reforms to allow farmers to share the fruits of development: abolishing the partition of urban-rural policy, expanding health insurance and welfare, regulating household registration, improving village governance by strengthening village elections etc.
这是点评版本：
Almost every country has the urban-rural gap, （改成 a gap between the city and the countryside）but due to history, economy and polity etc. （historical, economic and political reasons）this gulf in developed countries pale in comparison with developing counties’. (改为 with that in developing countries) Reasons for the urban-rural gap in many less-developed countries abound, but historically dual economy and political systems stand out and measures could certainly (赘词，可去除) be taken to narrow this gap.
Long-term existence of dual economic systems appears to make (可以改成 create) the chasm between urban and rural areas. Historically, some industrialized countries’ colonial rules and economic robbery (中式表达，可以改为 plunder) badly damaged economies of undeveloped colonies. Although those colonies subsequently gained independence, they still had to face ailing economy colonists left. (改为 economies left in colonists' wake) In order to fight widespread poverty, some of them, such as China, devised the (改为a) dual economic system to give priority to developing the industry in cities. In fact, subsequent economic miracle of Chinese （改为 China's）cities is achieved at the expense of rural capital, labor, land and raw materials. The dual economic system might result in a great disparity between cities and countryside in developing countries.
Additionally, the partition of urban-rural policy （改为 the differences in urban and rural policies）in less-developed countries seem to be another contributor to this inequality. For instance, China's hook – household registration – system has divided the nation's populations into rural and urban populations (改为 ones) since the 1950s. In the past, it binds (改为 bound) farmers to their farmland and traps (改为 trapped) them in agriculture (改为 farmland) to support towns. Today, although farmers can migrate into cities to find jobs, but （but 去掉）having a rural hukou means they are not entitled to many services of cities, such as education, social security, since the hukou is inherited. Thus, unreasonable state policies only exploiting (exploit) labour and resources but no channeling (改为 do not channel) back equal income and investments into the (去掉) rural areas are doomed to widen the rural-urban gulf.
There are several ways in which the gap could be reduced. For the economy, developing countries should drive the industry to nurture agriculture and push cities to support the countryside in general. Not only should the government reform rural finance to help migrant workers have stable life in cities, such as buying or renting accommodations, setting up small businesses, but also support farmers who remain in the countryside to improve productions and efficiency, such as purchasing new equipment for farming, building new facilities for crops or farms.
As for policies, less-developed states should adopt bold political reforms to allow farmers to share the fruits of development: abolishing the partition of (unfair) urban-rural policies, expanding health insurance and welfare, regulating household registration systems, improving village governance by strengthening village elections etc.
总结：
这篇作文除了上面提到的用词和语法问题之外，最大的问题在于思考不细致导致的离题。 文中提到的殖民地问题，城市和农村政策问题，户口政策，都只是个别国家出现的问题，并不能代表其他发展中国家农村面临的困境。此外，文章对于城市和农村差距问题的解决方案也流于表面和想当然，很难令人信服。
思路分析：
In many less-developed countries, the gap in the standard of living between the city and the countryside is very large. What are the reasons? How could the gap be reduced?
造成发展中国家城市和农村生活差距扩大的原因有很多，其中最主要的两个是基础设施以及人才。城市拥有大医院、博物馆、图书馆、大学、机场、地铁等基础设施，这些基础设施的存在吸引了大量的人才。同时，城市大量高素质人才的聚集又吸引了大批企业进驻，这些企业能提供足够的工作岗位，进一步增强了城市的吸引力，从而形成一个良性循环。与此同时，农村的劳动力不断向城市流失，企业招不到合适的员工，缺乏竞争力，这导致农村越来越破败。
对这一问题的解决方案也有不少，比如：
（1）农村地区通过兴建科技园区，提供政策优惠等形式招商引资，吸引企业进驻，为农村提供工作岗位；
（2）大量发展教育，为农村地区提供充足的人才储备；
（3）部分有条件的地区还可以发展旅游业，带动就业和经济增长；
（4）大城市定向扶持农村，提供资金、技术、师资等帮助农村地区发展。
这里给出我写的一个版本：
习作/魏剑峰
The disparity in living standards between cities and the countryside is growing in many developing countries for socioeconomic reasons, and governments should take measures to redress the balance.
Infrastructure and talent contribute to the urban-rural divide. Cities boast modern facilities such as libraries, gyms and museums, and locate the best universities and research institutions, thus preparing the ground for the proliferation of highly-educated workers. At the same time, an ample supply of skilled labor makes it possible for businesses to cluster around urban areas, which could in turn bring in more well-paid jobs and attract ambitious country dwellers. This trend stands in stark contrast to rural regions where people struggle to eke out an existence amid decrepit infrastructure and run-down factories. All these factors combined explain the reason why urbanites are better off than their rural counterparts.
Steps should be taken to develop the countryside. Start with building infrastructure. More roads should be paved to facilitate the free flow of people and goods, and rural planners are able to lure more corporations with the introduction of special economic zones and financial incentives. Education and skills also matter in a region’s long-term economic growth, since an educated workforce assists in the development of high value-added industries, for example electronics, biomedical manufacturing, and professional services. Therefore, it is in local governments’ interests to fund more schools and public training programs. Moreover, some poor regions can take advantage of their scenery and cultural heritage by rebranding themselves as holiday destinations. Businesses such as hotels and restaurants prosper with the arrival of tourists, thus generating more employment opportunities for locals.
The living-standard gap between cities and the countryside can be bridged through careful planning and continuous investment in education and basic infrastructure. Governments should start to take action, for the benefit of both rural and urban residents.
预告：
本专栏下期要分析的作文题目是：
The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world spends enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
感兴趣的同学可以先思考如何写，然后对照下期的思路分析。建议有空的同学自己动笔写一篇。
本作文专栏长期接受读者投稿，感兴趣的同学可以将习作发到我的邮箱 [email protected]，部分习作有机会得到点评。
