研究显示，低于30岁的妈妈中超过80%有时会感到孤独，而超过40%的人会经常或总是感到孤独。
别告诉我你看不出新手妈咪的孤独
作者：
Nell Frizzell
译者：王津雨 & 邵海灵
校对：徐嘉茵
策划：邹世昌
As a new mum, I know loneliness cuts deep – and the lack of services for parent and child plays a large part in this.
作为一个新晋宝妈，我知道孤独的滋味是刻骨铭心的——母婴服务的匮乏是造成这一状况的主要原因。
本文选自
the Guardian
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It is the strange lot of young mothers to be never alone, but often lonely. You may have a baby stuck limpet-like to your breast, hip or lap, but for many women, particularly those heroic superbeings we call single mothers, loneliness stalks the days like a tiger.
许多年轻妈妈都不是孤身一人，却经常感到孤独，这是很奇怪的。也许你有一个吸盘一样牢牢贴在你胸膛、臀部或大腿上的宝宝，但对许多女性——尤其是那些我们称之为单身妈妈的超级英雄来说——孤独如同潜藏的猛兽，每天都对她们虎视眈眈。
According to new research by the British Red Cross and the Co-op, over 80% of mums under 30 feel lonely some of the time, while over 40% are lonely often or always.
根据英国红十字会和Co-op集团的最新研究结果，低于30岁的妈妈中超过80%有时会感到孤独，而超过40%的人会经常或总是感到孤独。
Of course they are. When you’re earning just £20.70 a week in child benefit; when you have to sit in a dark room every couple of hours in order to tempt some food into an overstimulated child; when your family are at work; when you are still knitting your body back together after childbirth; when your friends don’t know how to change a nappy and you can’t afford a babysitter; when your partner is too tired to talk to you after a day at work; when you’re too shy to walk up to pram-pushing strangers in the street; when a place at nursery costs as much as your rent; when the local library has closed down; when you’ve had no sleep and have lost your nerve – of course you stay at home. Of course you get lonely.
她们当然孤独了。当你每周只能拿到20.70英镑的儿童福利金时；当你不得不每隔几小时就要坐进一个昏暗的房间，只为哄一个兴奋过头的孩子吃上几口东西时；当你的家人都在工作时；当你从分娩后一直在试图收回体形时；当你的朋友不知道怎么帮忙换尿布、你又雇不起保姆时；当你的伴侣在一天工作之后累到不和你交谈时；当你因为害羞而不敢在大街上跟其他推着婴儿车的陌生人攀谈时；当托儿所的费用和你的房租一样贵时；当本地图书馆已关门时；当你既失眠又变得胆怯时——你当然只好待在家里。所以你当然会感到孤独。
Yet it feels somehow taboo to admit to loneliness when you’re in the constant company of your own child. Mothers are somehow assumed to need no more stimulation than to stare adoringly into the wet eyes of their baby from birth: the amusement of a hiccup or an unexpected mid-air wee should be substitute enough for adult conversation; the feel of a chubby hand around your finger should wipe away any interest in your friends, sharing anecdotes, going on holiday, resting your head on another person’s shoulder, talking about your day …
然而，如果你一直有孩子陪伴在身边，还要承认自己很孤独，这总令人感到有些难以启齿。不知怎么回事，人们都认为，自从孩子出生后，妈妈们只要用慈爱的目光看着孩子湿润的眼睛，就能受到鼓舞，再不需要其他的激励手段了：孩子打嗝或出人意料向半空撒尿所带来的乐趣，足以取代成人之间的谈话；和朋友一起、分享轶事、去度假、把头枕到别人肩膀上、聊聊你一天的生活…… 只要有一只胖乎乎的小手握住你的手指，就能立时打消你对以上所有这些事情的兴趣。
Even for mothers, like me, who have approached child-rearing like the fermentation of a strong cheese, the hallmarks of loneliness still catch in my throat. The small plate of biscuits, drying out on a side table at 9am in desperate anticipation of your one visitor, who isn’t coming until 5pm when they knock off work; the too-long chats with the woman at the shop who politely asked your child’s age – and is the only person you’ve spoken to all day who didn’t have dribble on their chin. You can smell a new mother’s hunger for company like the tang of vinegar: a little too strong, a little too sour.
带孩子对我来说已经像发酵奶酪一样熟能生巧了，但即使像我这样的资深妈妈，孤独的种种印记也仍会让人如鲠在喉。烤好的一小盘饼干从上午9点就被晾在墙边的桌子上绝望地等待，可你唯一的访客得下午5点下班以后才能来；跟商店营业员尬聊了很久，只是因为对方礼节性地问了一句孩子多大了——她还是这一整天你说过话的人里头唯一下巴上没有挂着口水的。你简直能闻到新晋宝妈对陪伴的渴望，就像醋的强烈味道：有点太浓郁，也有点太酸涩。
