各位好，这里是作文专栏的第九期，关于专栏的介绍可见
怎样写一篇作文？
公众号后台经常收到读者反映说写作文经常想不到素材和观点。要在考场上短短几十分钟内写出一篇观点清晰、例证丰富的文章，需要平时大量的积累。这里推荐一个很好用的素材观点网站：www.procon.org
www.procon.org 是一家非盈利性质的公益网站，其成立目标是通过提供对常见争议话题的多方面观点，培养大众的批判性思维，让民众对争议性事件有更加清晰的认识。在 www.procon.org 上几乎可以找到所有常见争议话题的正反方观点，比如枪支管控（gun control），动物实验（animal testing）以及社交网络的好处与坏处（the pros and cons of social networking）等。
在每个话题的详情页上可以看到背景介绍，以及正反方观点：
通读这些内容不仅可以让我们对这些话题有更加清晰和全面的认识，而且还能让我们学到很多与该话题相关的表达。比如在下面社交网络话题的背景介绍中，我们可以学到 online communities, promote increased interaction with friends and family, offer somebody access to educational support and materials 等短语。
Proponents of social networking sites say that the
online communities
promote i
ncreased interaction with friends and family
; offer teachers, librarians, and students valuable
access to educational support and materials
; facilitate social and political change; and
disseminate useful information
rapidly.
平时感到观点贫瘠的同学可以多去这个网站上看看，按照网站话题分类查找自己需要的话题，然后深入学习其表达和观点。积累多了写作文时自然会感到有话可说。
今天要分析的题目是：
Do young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这是习作的原始版本：
习作/Scottie
People claim that
juvenile delinquency should be punished
as harsh as adult in order to prevent crime. I reckon that adolescents who commit
felony crimes
deserve a tough punishment, but should be distinguished from adults.
Some severe penalty imposed on young people who commit serious crimes does make sense. Teenagers aged nearly 20 years old have already developed a mature personality, which means that they know clearly the consequence of their bad behavior and should certainly be to blame.Furthermore, the murderous character defects have been moulded and can hardly be improved by education, so only the heavy punishment the same as adults can deter them from crime.
However, the government should be soft on petty crime committed by teenagers for the purpose of self defense .For instance, a teenager under 14 years old killing his father who tortured him for a long time is supposed to be tolerant and on no account should serve prison sentence. Additionally, long-term prison experience has an adverse effect on the youth to reintegrate into society and they can easily imitate anti-society behavior from other adult inmates. Last but not the least, adolescents who are sentenced in the same way as adults may be discriminated by their peers after free from prison, which would makes them develop potential psychological problems.
In conclusion, different kinds of juvenile delinquency should be treated in different ways, whether young people committing serious crimes are forced to burden the duty the same as adults depends on specific condition.
下面是点评版本（带有下划线的是需要修改的表达，蓝色部分是调整后的版本）：
People claim that
juvenile delinquency should be punished
(young people who commit serious crimes should be punished)
as harsh as adult in order to prevent crime. I reckon that adolescents who commit
felony crimes
(felonies)
deserve a tough punishment,
but should be distinguished from adults
.
(but such sentencing should be different from that of adults)
Some severe
penalty
(penalties)
imposed on young people who commit serious crimes
does
(do)
make sense. Teenagers aged nearly 20
years old
(\)
have already developed a mature personality, which means that they know clearly the consequence
s
of their bad behavior and should certainly be to blame. Furthermore,
the murderous character defects have been moulded and can hardly be improved by education
,
(their aggresive tendencies are so entrenched that it is difficult to curb them through education)
so only
the
(\)
heavy
(harsh)
punishment
s
the same as adults
(\)
can deter them from crime.
However, the government should be soft on petty crime
s
committed by teenagers for the purpose of self defense .For instance, a teenager under 14 years old killing his father who
has
tortured him for a long time is supposed to be
tolerant
(condoned)
and on no account should serve
a
prison sentence. Additionally, long-term prison experience has an adverse effect on the youth to reintegrate into society and they can easily imitate
anti-society
(anti-social)
behavior from other adult inmates.
Last but not the least
,
(Finally / last but not least)
adolescents who are sentenced in the same way as adults may be discriminated by their peers after
freeing
(being released)
from prison, which would
makes
(make)
them
develop
(liable to)
potential psychological problems.
In conclusion, different kinds of juvenile delinquency should be treated in different ways,
and
whether young people committing serious crimes
are forced to burden the duty
(should be punished)
the same
way
as adults depends on specific condition
s
.
思路分析：
Do young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这篇文章可以写成同意或者反对题目观点。如果同意青少年应该与成年人接受相同的刑罚，可以提出下面的观点：
（1）大部分青少年能够分清对与错，也能够明白他们的行为所带来的后果。因此，他们应该和成年人一样，为自己的行为负责。
（2）对于犯有严重罪行的青少年（比如谋杀，虐待），如果对他们量刑过轻，他们回归社会后很可能还会重犯，对社会造成危害。
