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When it comes to psychological consulting in China, the first impression is that China's psychological consulting is not mature yet. The complaint may be right, but we also need to know the real reason behind the problem.
The immature situation can be partly attributed to ingrained but irrational misunderstandings of psychological consulting.
To reduce complaints and encourage more people to bravely undergo psychological consulting when they truly need it, four main misunderstandings about psychological consulting will be mentioned and then corrected below. Let's take a look.
It's like fortune tellingIt seems like a fortune teller and a consultant share a common task and method - freeing their clients of the shackles in their mind through face-to-face discussions.
However, fortune tellers focus on a person's future. They tell you what may happen to you in the short or long term future, but they use a theory that many people believe is unreliable.
Psychological consultants, contradictorily, set their eyes on the past. They try to figure out the exact reasons behind the pain and chaos of their clients through analyzing different life stages of their past.
Indeed, sometimes consultants can roughly know what happened to clients in the past, and what sorts of emotions may appear again in the future after learning about their problems, like a surgeon who can easily deduce that a wound is from a knife or a gun. But it is supported by reliable scientific theories and many useful experiences.
They are totally different systems.
It's pointless because it's just talking
Some people believe that the discussion between consultants and clients is the same as the discussion between common or intimate friends. In the latter conversation, people with mental problems often hear, "you just think too much", "you don't need to be depressed, sad or angry", and "everything will be all right".
Actually, people with negative emotions will be more pessimistic when they hear words like that, because persuading and judgments with no professional method and empathy is not only totally useless but probably will drive those people further into depression.
However, during a professional psychological consultation, clients can say whatever they want to say without worrying about judgments and blame because every professional psychologist knows that only by totally accepting and understanding the clients' every emotion can consultants help those suffering mental problems. This is the power of empathy, a professional term in psychology.
Empathy is just a part of the whole consulting process. After learning the clients' problems, the conversation goes to the next stage - helping clients realize the real reasons behind those problems and providing them with a new mindset to replace the old one. This is more like putting a new and functioning system into a computer.
It will instantly handle mental problems.
People with this idea may regard a psychological consultant as a wizard or witch who can use a wand, murmuring an incantation to help a client forget or forgive bad things instantly.
In fact, the role of psychologists is to help clients help themselves. The decisive role of getting out of mental troubles should be played by clients themselves. They need to constantly practice the new mindset that psychologists recommend until it is deeply embedded into and can automatically operate in their mind.
It's similar to physical problems. Patients can never be cured if they don't take medication recommended by doctors. However, the difference is that curing a mental problem usually requires longer time than a physical one because it's very hard for people to change their own thoughts, especially those rooted in their minds for decades.
But don't worry. Changes happen every day if even a little effort is made.
It costs more money than it's worth.
It seems like being a psychological consultant is a light job. Just talking with people in a cozy room with a soft sofa and warm lamplight, it is so comfortable.
However, it is multi-tasking work requiring much energy.
Every question a consultant asks has a special meaning in the aim to explore a client's deep-seated problems.
Every sentence, expression and emotion that a client presents receives a consultant's full attention, because only collecting and analyzing those details can a consultant sort out the reasons behind the mental troubles.
Every time a consultant is touched or influenced by a client, he or she cannot let their client's emotions entirely consume them. They must keep their mind clear as to help the people in need.
In an hour, a professional psychological consultant has to do many tasks at the same time.
Besides, it's also easy for them to suffer mental problems. Lots of heartbreaking and despairing people need to be loved and numerous negative and even evil ideas are a daily occurrence at their job.
In the process, empathy is an indispensable way to solve problems, while using empathy is like walking at the edge of steep cliff, because that means a consultant has to feel what clients feel and say. The consultant may also suffer if the feeling lingers with them for a long time.
For avoiding that and always working to be more professional, a consultant needs to keep their mind clear and learn new skills. Therefore, he or she must frequently attend workshops and have supervision, which costs a lot of money.
This energy-consuming, dangerous, and costly job requires a high salary.
To undergo psychological consulting is to have a deep conversation with a professional who is capable of exploring why you feel bad, how your personality and mindset is formed and how you can smooth the chaos you have and will face. That's really a cool thing.
Ultimately, psychological consulting is nothing but a great way to love ourselves.
Editors: Shorlin, Zhang Yue
Audio and translation of the story is available on our WeChat mini-app
