坐火车、飞机的时候，邻座要是有个爱哭闹的小朋友，那是什么感受，大家都懂的。
近年来，国外开始兴起一种传统。为了向同行的旅客们表达歉意，带小孩的家长会准备一些“小礼袋”（goodie bags），发放给附近的乘客。
礼袋的标配是耳塞（earplugs）、糖果（sweet）和一张小卡片，通常是用小宝宝的语气，向接受者表达歉意。
许多人认为这种做法缓和了客舱里的矛盾。父母这样做显示出了相当的诚意和歉意，别的旅客大都能理解并表示支持。
中国网友也称赞这种做法有素质。
但最近，有个叫Cassie Murdoch的妈妈，写了一篇文章，专门就此事表达她的看法。
态度就是一句话：不服！
家长们，不要因为陌生人坐在宝宝附近，就觉得你欠他们糖果。
起因是最近网上又在疯转一个家长在飞机上送出的小礼袋。
你好陌生人：
我叫Andaqi。我到1月15日就4个月大啦，这是我第一次坐飞机。我会努力乖乖的，但如果我突然激动，害怕或者耳朵疼，那就先说声对不起。而且我刚开始长牙，总是觉得很难受。我知道自己还是个宝宝，但我也希望你能享受愉快的旅程。
妈咪Niqelle给你准备了一个小礼包，装了些糖果。
里面还有一副耳塞，如果你不像我妈一样喜欢我的第一次公开清唱，那就用它吧。祝旅途愉快，谢谢理解！
但Cassie认为父母根本不必为这种事道歉。
“On the surface it’s a nice gesture, but as the mother of twin toddlers, every time I see one of these baggies go viral I am filled with rage. Other moms and dads I’ve talked to say the same thing. That’s not to say the individual parents who give these out are doing anything wrong. They’re just trying to be nice — a good instinct in these tense times,” writes Cassie.
“表面看来，这是种善意的姿态。但作为一个抚养一对双胞胎的母亲，我每次看到网上疯转这种礼袋都会愤怒无比。我和其他父母讨论过这事，大家看法和我一致。这不是说分发礼袋的父母做错了，他们只是在表达善意，在一些紧张时刻，这是一种很好的本能反应。”Cassie写道。
“The cumulative effect, though, of these goody bags sweeping the feel-good internet is to build in the unrealistic expectation that the next time you board a plane and see someone holding a baby that person owes you a preemptive apology in the form of Tootsie Rolls. The thing about these goody bags that has rubbed many parents the wrong way from the start is that they send the message we should feel bad for having babies who act like babies. We shouldn’t.”
“但这种行为在网上疯传而造成的积累效应，会给人们造成一种不现实的预期，下次你再登机的时候，看到有人带孩子，你就会不自觉地认为那父母欠你一个糖果道歉。这种礼袋从一开始就让许多家长感到不舒服，因为它们传达了这样一种信息：我们应当为小孩子表现得像小孩子而愧疚。我们不应该啊！”
“If my child screams, it may annoy you. But there are a million ways adults can be equally annoying — and they should know better. I once spent a flight trapped next to a man who packed and consumed not one but three intensely smelly tuna sandwiches during the course of the trip. I did not receive a single goody bag for my suffering.”
“如果我的孩子哭叫，那可能让你讨厌。但大人们也有N种做法一样惹人厌烦。我有次坐飞机，旁边坐着一个男的，他带了三个恶臭的金枪鱼三明治，在整个旅程中挨个地吃掉了。我可没因为自己遭受的折磨而收到礼袋。”
“Surviving air travel with our sanity intact is hard enough for all of us, not just parents. But most people who fly with their kid have also dragged a car seat, a stroller, extra food and diapers, and approximate 9,000 tons of other miscellaneous supplies. The next time I wrestle my wriggling toddlers and all their crap onboard, I shouldn’t have to also stress that I failed to bring a dozen charming packages full of snacks for everyone around me.”
“能在飞行中保持理智已经挺不容易的了，这对所有人来说都一样，可不只是父母。但很多带孩子的家长还要拉一个儿童座椅、一个推车、一堆吃的和尿布，还有几千吨杂七杂八的补给品。我不想在下次拖儿带女拉着一堆东西上飞机的时候，还要因为没给周围人带十几份装着糖果的迷人小礼袋而感到压力山大。”
“We may not be handing you Instagram-worthy gifts, but the vast majority of parents are already going above and beyond to make sure our children don’t bother you during the flight. Trust me when I say, the most stressful part of traveling with a baby is not trying to clean up the inevitable poopsplosion in the minuscule aircraft lavatory during turbulence. It’s worrying non-stop for the entire journey that our child will become inconsolable and disrupt the trip of every passenger within shouting distance.”
“我们可能没送给你能拍照传朋友圈的小礼物，但大多数家长们已经做了极大的努力来保证孩子们不会在旅途中打扰你，他们表现得足够好了。相信我，带孩子旅行最大的压力不是在狭小的盥洗室里、在颠簸气流中清理那无法避免的屎尿爆炸，而是整个旅程中都要担心我们的孩子可能会吵闹不断，打扰到所有能听到哭声的旅客。”
此文一出，网友们都炸开了锅，展开激烈讨论，态度不一，有的点赞，有的拍砖。
网友Michelle Brideau：
These are a terrible idea. I'm an adult with no kids but I understand babies can't be reasoned with and they might cry on a flight. I'm grownup enough not to need a goody bag to be pacified. I do have issues with parents who are oblivious to their children's ill behaviour and resent having to ask a child behind me to stop kicking my chair but I will, nicely, if I have to.
这真是太糟糕的办法。我没有孩子，但我理解小孩不懂事，在飞机上会哭。我是个大人，不需要用小礼物来安抚情绪。不过我确实不喜欢家长无视自己孩子没教养的行为，也不喜欢告诉后排的孩子，别踢我的座椅。如果不得不说，我也会很善意地说。
网友Juan Alcorta：
You can be all the understanding you want, but once travelling from L.A. to NYC, a crying baby made my life hell! I just wanted to jump off the plane.
你们爱善解人意就善解人意吧，反正我有次从洛杉矶飞纽约，一个哭个不停的小孩要把我折磨死了，我当时只想跳飞机！
网友Stephanie Hutner：
I see the point of this, but it doesn't change how I feel about screaming kids. Especially when the adult isn't doing a damn thing to calm it.
道理我都懂，但这改变不了我对尖叫着的孩子的看法，尤其是当大人啥也不做的时候更烦人。
网友Brown thumb Gardener：
Probably the best goodybag for the parents would be a kind word of encouragement.
对家长来说，最好的礼物袋恐怕是一句善意的鼓励吧。
网友Dan W：
If people want to smoke, that's their choice, I have no problem with that at all. Stand next to me and blow smoke in my face? That's a slightly different issue. I don't see why I should be made to suffer for others people's life decisions. Equally I have no problem with babies on planes, but a little consideration shouldn't go amiss.
有人愿意抽烟，那是他们的选择，我一点问题也没有。但是站在我身旁，往我脸上喷烟？那就是另一码事了。我不觉得我应该为他人的人生选择而受折磨。同理，我也对小孩上飞机没有异议，但家长多考虑下旁人总是不会错的。
网友LizzyM：
It's not about apologizing for your baby acting like a baby, it's about being considerate to your fellow travellers who are stuck for hours in a small, crowded and confined space with your crying offspring.
这不是为“小孩子表现得像小孩子感到愧疚”，这是对那些几小时内都要呆在狭小、拥挤空间忍受你家娃哭闹声的同行旅客的一种体谅。
小伙伴们对此有什么看法？如果你是家长，你愿意为同行人发放这种小礼包吗？欢迎留言讨论！
编辑：左卓
实习编辑：洪泽华
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