英语美文|这或许是爱人最好的方式

The other day as I talked with a friend I recalled a story that I heard this summer． "Acompassionate person， seeing a butterfly struggling to free itself from its cocoon， and wanting to help， very gently loosened the filaments to form an opening． The butterfly was freed， emerged from the cocoon， and fluttered about but could not fly． What the compassionate person did not know was that only through the birth struggle can the wings grow strong enough for flight． Its shortened life was spent on the ground； it never knew freedom， never really lived．"

前几天和一位朋友闲聊时，我想起今年夏天听到的一个故事：“有个人很富有同情心，看到一只蝴蝶拼命挣扎想冲破茧的束缚，就帮了个忙，轻轻地解开茧丝使其露出一个缺口。蝴蝶得到解放，从茧中出来振翅欲飞，然而却飞不起来。这位富有同情心的人所不知道的是，只有经过挣扎破茧而出，翅膀才能变得强壮，可以飞翔。这只蝴蝶短暂的生命只能在地上度过了，它从未尝过自由的滋味，没有真正享受过生活。”

I call it learning to love with an open hand． It is a learning which has come slowly to me and has been wrought in the fires of pain and in the waters of patience． I am learning that I must free the one I love， for if I clutch or cling， try to control， I lose what I try to hold．

我把它叫做学会放爱一条生路。这个教训经历了痛苦的锻造和耐心的洗礼，我才逐渐认识到。我学会了必须给所爱的人自由，如果我抓得太紧、紧握不放、设法控制，结果可能会失去他们。

If I try to change someone I love because I feel I know how that person should be， I robhim or her of a precious right， the right to take responsibility for one's own life and choices and way of being． Whenever I impose my wish or want or try to exert power over another， I rob him or her of the full realization of growth and maturation． I limit and prevent by my act of possession， no matter how kind my intention．