为了将孩子们培养成心怀善意的人，乔治小王子就读的托马斯巴特西学校规定学生不许交好朋友，而要平等地对待所有学生。这样的教育理念固然和学校本身的基督教性质有直接关系，但人类是社会性动物，孩子从小缺乏亲密的友谊，还能培养其健全的人格吗？

心疼乔治小王子

译者：朱小钊

校对： 王旻彦

导读&笔记：朱星汉

策划：杨婧娴

Pity poor Prince George – discouraged from having a best friend at school

心疼乔治小王子，刚上学就被禁止交好友

本文选自 《卫报》 | 取经号原创翻译

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It worried me that Prince George’s new school apparently discourages its pupils from having a best friend. Now that the news of his first day has been broadcast around the world, the reported policy of Thomas’s Battersea might be taken as a gold standard or best practice. But I think it’s profoundly mistaken.

显然，乔治王子的新学校并不鼓励孩子们交好朋友。这着实令我感到担忧。由于乔治王子第一天上学的新闻举世瞩目，托马斯巴特西学校的这条规定可能会被奉为金科玉律或是最佳典范，但我认为这一规定完全是错误的。

To want a best friend is both natural and good. That’s been noted ever since Aristotle wrote about what makes for a flourishing life in his Nicomachean Ethics. Friendship was central. He concluded that a person may have everything else that life can offer – money, family, purpose, values – but that they would feel they lacked something essential if they hadn’t, at some point, experienced the great joy of soulmateship.

想要结交好友是一件好事，也很正常。这一观点自亚里士多德的《尼各马可伦理学》问世以来就被广泛提及。他在书中写道，友情对于积极向上的生活而言是至关重要的。他断言，人们可以拥有生活中的一切，诸如金钱、家庭、目标以及价值观，然而一旦在生命中的某个阶段无法享受挚友所带来的快乐，便可能会感觉怅然若失。

He realised that human beings are social creatures. We’re people of the polis . We do well when we live well together. Friendship is a crucial part of that, he continued, because it’s in the context of intimate friendships that we best learn what it is to attend to others, not only ourselves. This care can become a habit that spills out in ever widening circles to extend across the community.

亚里士多德认识到，人类是社会性动物，是 城邦 中的公民。当人类和谐地生活在一起时，便能有所成就。他还说道，友情是其中非常重要的一部分，正是因为这段亲密的友谊，我们才学会 关照 他人而不仅是以自我为中心。当关心他人成为一个习惯时，它便会影响更大的圈子，乃至整个社会。

polis a city state in ancient Greece, especially as considered in its ideal form of philosophical purposes.

attend to 1. to deal with business or personal matters  2.serve  3.take care of

It is, therefore, wrong to think that forbidding best friends prevents playground bullying and loneliness. If anything, it could promote the opposite. How else can individuals learn the tremendous value of reaching out , of acting kindly?

因此，认为不交朋友就能防止校园暴力，避免孤独感是错误的，甚至可能会适得其反。除了交朋友以外，还有什么方法能让人们体会到 帮助 他人，表现善意的巨大价值呢？

reach out to show sb that you are interested in them and/or want to help them. 例：The church needs to find new ways of reaching out to young people. 教会需要寻找新途径来为年轻人提供帮助。

The fear that close friendships work against school happiness is, probably, based on an ill-defined intuition. As is commonly observed, one way to seal an effective friendship is to forge a common enemy. Best friends may do that. But animosity does not prop up f a ux- amity for long. Far better is to educate children about the nature of friendship. It’ll be good for them and others.

担心亲密的朋友关系反而会使校园生活不快乐，这一想法可能只是不可名状的直觉罢了。众所周知，如果两人的死对头是一样的，他们就更容易成为朋友，而且最好的朋友往往都是这样。但即便有共同的敌人，这份 虚假的友情 也维持不了多久。所以更好的办法是教育孩子们理解友谊的本质，这对他们以及其他人都更有益处。

faux - made in imitation; artificial.

amity friendly relations. 反：hostility

This takes us to the deeper reason that Aristotle felt soulmateship to be fundamental to humans. We make two types of friends in life, he concluded. The more usual are those we form because we share something in common. Work friends would be the classic case nowadays. But such friendships are limited. They depend upon what’s shared. If that goes, the friendship founder s. It’s why work friends who bump into each other out of the office feel awkward and embarrassed, head down, earbuds in. What are they going to talk about? The chances a re they will default to work – and who wants that at the weeken d?

这让我们更深刻认识到亚里士多德认为挚友对于人类来说至关重要的原因。他总结道，生命中存在两种友谊。更普遍的是因为有交集而成为朋友，同事就是当今社会最典型的例子。但这样的友情往往取决于他们有什么交集，因而有其局限性。长此以往，友谊终将会 走到尽头 。因此，如果在非工作场合偶遇同事，可能感到尴尬局促，只得低头戴上耳机。他们之间会谈些什么呢？ 最有可能会 谈工作，但谁又想在周末聊这个呢？

founder vi. 1.失败（+on sth） eg.The peace talk foundered on a basic lack of trust.由于缺乏基本信任，和平谈判搁浅。 2.沉没（+on sth）eg.Our boat foundered on a reef.我们的船触礁沉没。

default to sth (computing计)to happen when you do not make any other choice or change. 默认为，预设为

The less common type of friendship is also more valuable. It is the kind that doesn’t depend upon anything shared, though much will be shared. Instead, these friends know and love each other for who they are in themselves. In some moments they become one soul in two bodies, another self to each other. Together they can withstand the pains of life. They reflect one another, and so learn from each other.

另一种友谊因稀缺而显得更加珍贵。尽管双方有很多共同点，但他们的友谊并不取决于此。相反，他们了解彼此，爱对方真实的模样。在某些时刻，他们是居住在两副皮囊下的同一个灵魂，是另一个自己。他们能一起承担生活的痛苦，互学互鉴。

We don’t always have such a best friend or soulmate, Aristotle said. But to taste it just once is to know that you have tasted something of the very best that life can offer.

亚里士多德说，并不是每一个人都能拥有挚友或者灵魂伴侣，但只要体会过一次友情的美好，就会知道这是生活最好的馈赠。

The idea that best friends are damaging does have another significant root: it arises in Christian monasticism . The founders of this tradition often advised monks and nuns not to form “particular friendships”. But at heart, they did so for theological reasons. The monastic calling is to cultivate ascetic practices that help direct all of the soul’s desire towards God. In this context, friendship is a distraction. But note: monasticism is a vocation – by definition it is not meant for everyone. Another strand in the Christian tradition teaches that friendship is an excellent school for living; it’s the love within which many learn of the love of God.

好朋友会带来危害的想法源自于一个重要的传统：天主教徒的 隐修 。这一传统的创始人始终建议僧侣和修女之间不要形成 "特殊的友谊"。但在内心深处, 他们是出于神学原因才这样做的。修道院的使命在于引导信徒苦修，从而能全身心尊崇上帝。由此来看, 友谊会让人分心。但请注意，隐修是一种