各位好,这里是作文专栏的第十三期,关于专栏的介绍可见
栏目介绍
。
前几天推送的文章
写作中容易被忽略的一个问题:名词的数
里面有很多人问到一个问题:
浙大的宣传语 Let’s express our highest respect to those predecessors explored the unknown fields of mankind ... 能不能改为 Let’s express our highest respect to those predecessors exploring the unknown fields of mankind ...
答案是不可以。因为这里定语从句和主句的时间不一样。当定语从句的谓语时间和主句的谓语时间一致时,我们可以将定语从句转换为现在分词短语后置定语,比如
(1) The girl who sits in the corner is my sister.
可以转换为:
(2) The girl sitting in the corner is my sister.
同理,我们可以将现在分词短语后置定语还原为定语从句,还原后的定语从句的时间要和主句的一致,比如:
(3) The girl sitting in the corner is my sister.
还原后是:
(4) The girl who sits / is sitting in the corner is my sister.
但不可以还原为:
(5) The girl who sat in the corner is my sister.
当定语从句的谓语时间和主句的谓语时间不一致时,就不能转换,比如:
(6) The man who
designed
the bridge ten years ago
is
an Amercian.
此时定语从句的谓语时间是过去时,主句的谓语时间是现在时,两者时态不同,句子不能简化为:
(7) The man designing the bridge ten years ago is an Amercian. (实际上,假如我们试着把这个句子还原为定语从句,它会变成 The man who designs / is designing the bridge ten years ago is an Amercian. 句子从逻辑上是无法成立的)
回到浙大的句子,原句可以改为 :
Let’s express our highest respect to those predecessors who explored the unknown fields of mankind ...
此时定语从句的谓语时间是过去时,主句的谓语时间是现在时,两者时态不一致,因此不能转换为:
Let’s express our highest respect to those predecessors exploring the unknown fields of mankind ...
关于定语从句与现在分词互相转换的更多说明,可以查阅语法书,或者参考下面这篇论文:
http://t.cn/RSxF2RH
此外,还有人问上面的句子能不能改为:
Let’s express our highest respect to those predecessors having explored the unknown fields of mankind ...
答案也是不可以,因为分词的完成式 having done 或者 having been done 不能用在名词后面做后置定语,只能做状语。举个例子,我们不能说:
A person having won success too early in life may become bored with life.
只能说:
Having won success too early in life, a person may become bored with life.
关于这一点,同样可以查阅语法书,或者参考这篇国外论坛帖子:
http://thegrammarexchange.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/340600179/m/814107222
回到今天的作文题目:
Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这是原始的作文版本:
习作/S
With the increased availability of advertising aimed at children, some people appeal to forbid it because of the deleterious effects on the development of children. In my view, the negative advertising should be banned, and the positive counterpart should be allowed.
Comparison consumption is clearly involved in the adverse advertisement epidemic, as is the unhealthy lifestyle it brings to children. For one thing, advertisement targeting at children is generally replete with attractive items such as latest toys and colorful sweets,and myriad companies spare no effort to propagandize how wonderful and fancy their products are in order to boost sales. Consequently, children are so naive that they can be easily encouraged to persuade what display on television. However, their desires can rarely be satisfied especially when their peers own a better product, which is a trigger for comparison consumption among kids. For another, fast food and beverage advertisements are all the rage on the television screen, sparking an unhealthy eating style and should be to blame for the children obesity.
Although a large majority of commercial advertisements mislead kids to form bad spending habits, there are some positive public service announcements on screen. For instance, a well-known short video, telling that while several students are competing in a running race, the fastest runner unfortunately fall on the ground and second-placed candidate gives up the first prize to help the injured competitor, educates children that friendship is far more important than championship. Advertising like that sets a good example for children to foster moral characteristics and on no account should be banned.
In brief, we are supposed to put strict scrutiny over advertising targeted at children as it plays an important role in the formative years of childhood, and only the detrimental commercial advertisement should be prohibited.
这是点评版本:
With the
increased
increasing
availability ofadvertising aimed at children, some people a
ppeal to forbid it
argue that it should be banned
because of the deleterious effects on the development of children. In my view,
the negative advertising should be banned, and the positive counterpart should be allowed.
Advertisements that have a negative impact on children should be banned.
Comparison consumption is clearly involved in the adverse advertisement epidemic, as is the unhealthy lifestyle it brings to children.
Advertisements encourage children to constantly compare themselves to others.
For one thing, advertisement
s
targeting at children
is
are
generally replete with attractive items such as
the
latest toys and colorful sweets, and
myriad
many
companies spare no effort to
propagandize
show
how wonderful and fancy their products are in order to boost sales. Consequently, children are so
naive
vulnerable
that they can be easily encouraged to
persuade
buy
what display
s
on television. However, their desires can rarely be satisfied especially when their peers own a better product, which is a trigger for comparison
consumption
among kids. For another, fast food and beverage advertisements are all the rage on the television screen,
sparking
encouraging
an unhealthy eating style and
they
should be
are
to blame for
the children
childhood
obesity.
Although a large majority of
commercial
advertisements mislead
kids
children
to form bad spending habits, there are some positive public service announcements
on screen
. For instance,a well-known short video, telling that while several students are competing in a running race, the fastest runner unfortunately fall on the ground and second-placed candidate gives up the first prize to help the injured competitor, educates children that friendship is far more important than championship. Advertising
like that
of this kind
sets a good
moral
example for children
to foster moral characteristics
and on no account should be banned.
In brief, we are supposed to
put strict scrutiny over
restrict
advertising
targeted
aimed
at children as it plays an important role in the formative years of
childhood
the next generation
, and
only the detrimental commercial advertisement should be prohibited
.
Commercial advertisements that can do harm to children should be banned.
思路分析:
Advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?