很多学生经常问5.5分如何到6分，6分如何到6.5分，6.5分如何到7分，等等。每个0.5分好像都很艰难。
下面这2个学生在4月22日出的成绩，一个5.5分，一个6分。大家可以看看我的点评，就知道他们的差异。
some peole think advertising may have positive economic effects.Others think it has social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
学生2 （考场成绩5.5分，我不建议复议）
advertisements ha
ve positive effect o
n countries' economic prosprity, but it can have an adverse impact on individuals, for ads help people focus on n
eeds of materials
rather than emotional needs, and excessive shopping will be encouraged.
on the one hand, advertising campaigns help consumers understand information of items which they want to purchase, so nations' economy will develop. for example,
people were less likely to buy milk powder from New Zealan
d, because they do not know that farmers in New Zealand diary farms do not use any chemica
ls, when
watching those ads, they have access to this valuable information and purchase goods they like.
on the other hand, ads have negative effect on people's lives for people may go shopping excessively after watching those ads. when watching some ads about some expensive items, some people may not resist those temptations and possess those goods,because they do not want to lose face. however, those people are likely to be in debt, and even some of them may take shortcuts in order to own those products, which may affect their lives definitely.
another drawback of ads advocates extravagant life which may erode individuals' family ties which cause people feel disatisified about lives, because people tend to
emphasize on shopping
only. as people want to own more products, they may overwork to earn more money to maintain their lifestyles, so they have less time to be with their family members, which can
cause they feel disappointed about their lives.
to sum up, although ads help countries' economic development, i hold the view that ads should be censored because
it cause people feel dissatisfied
about their lives.
点评：
这个同学首先语法就决定了
5.5
分是大事件，譬如说
cause
后面不能加句子，
emphasise
后面不能加
on
，
effect
不能没有冠词。
其次，这个题目最大的陷阱是第二部分出现了人们
not satisfied with who they are and what they have.
不是单纯讨论广告的优点和缺点，而是讨论广告是不是让人们不满意自己，不满意产品。
这个同学的第二段说的是广告刺激人们消费，并没有人们是满意还是不满意，这是跑题。
5.5
分坐定。
学生2 （考场成绩6分，我建议复议）
Many people are exposed to advertisements every day and tend to buy more than they need. Although advertisements can boost e
conomy,
they may have a negative effect on society.
Some people who support advertisements argue that
they can
promote economic growth, because sales in products can be increased. People can see advertisements everywhere(on television,on magazines or in subway stations). These advertisements can give people information about products and people may be attracted to buy these products. As a result of this,the sales in products will be increased and many companies can earn profit. In addition,there can be more job opportunities for salespeople.
On the other hand,some people hold a different view,believing that t
oo much advertisements
may influence our society adversely. Today,many celebrities,such as movie stars and well-known athletes,are employed to endorse products. They give an exaggerated account of functions of these products. Because of the influence of these celebrities,people are more likely to purchase some luxury items. If they cannot afford these items, they may feel dissatisfied and unfair,especially those low-income people.
In my view,advertisements have a negative influence on individuals,families and society. Some advertising campaigns are normally directed at children. For example,advertisements may use some special effects,such as magic,to attract children. Girls are obsessed with fashion clothes and boys are more interested in toy cars. Because they do not have a source of income,they may pester their parents to buy these products.
If they parents disagree,they may feel dissatisfied and there may be a family argument,which can have a negative influence on family relationships. In some cases,children may commit a crime ,such as theft,to get what they want. It may pose a potential threat to our society.
In conclusion,advertisements have negative social effects because of ordinary people's dissatisfaction while they can promote economic development.
点评：
这个同学的语法和句子结构一看就是
7
分级别的，各种从句灵活使用，连接顺畅，意思连贯。
整篇文章基本上没有语法错误，除了
much
修饰
advertisements,
还有第一句话
economy
没有冠词
她考场的分数是
6
分，我建议她复议（只要她小作文也是类似的水平），
6.5
分可待。
之所以拿不到
7
分，就是主体部分第三段最后忘记了扣题，真的很可惜，这个学生就是
7
分的实力
。
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