各位好，欢迎来到作文专栏的第六期，关于专栏的介绍可见：
怎样写一篇作文？
我在之前的文章
怎样正确区分口语和书面英语？
里面提到了口语和书面语的区别，这些区别的背后其实体现的是文体意识。即针对不同的文体要选择合适的表达方式，避免将学术报告变成日常流水账，同样也要避免将日常对话写成学术报告。对于考场写作来说，要注意以下几点：
1.不要在考场作文中使用缩写
对于 there's, I'm, they're 这类缩写全部都要还原，比如 there is, I am, they are.
2.避免使用口语化的词语
一些在美剧和电影中看起来很时髦的单词和短语并不适合出现在考场作文里面，比如 sort of, kind of, cool, gonna, kick the bucket ... 这类表达常见于口语，但放在正式写作中会显得很不协调。
3.减少出现非正式表达
文体学中，根据使用场合的不同，英语可分为正式英语和非正式英语两种语体。应该尽量避免非正式表达出现在正式写作中，比如：
There are lots of / a lot of questions that still remain unanswered.
上面句子里面 lots of / a lot of 为非正式表达，可以改成 many.
平时写作的时候多留意自己的用词，如果不确定词性多查查词典，一般情况下可以避免上面提到的绝大多数问题。
今天要分析的作文题目是：
Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making them look the same. Do you agree or disagree?
这是作文的原始版本：
文/scottie
As advertisements penetrate every corner of modern life, people are concerned about they may hinder diverse personality traits by disseminating the same information.I would argue that though advertisements moderately encourage the same tastes, people will not lose their characteristics.
On the one hand, it certainly true people are willing to jump on the bandwagon and imitate the famous.When an advert becomes an instant hit, especially with the endorsement from a celebrity, many young people, even the middle-aged, will be eager to purchase the promoted products without hesitation, no matter whether they really need them.As a result, customers are fostered similar tastes and gradually lose their traits.
However, the negative effects of advertising on personality mould pale into insignificance when set against the benefits it brings to us. Chief among the merits put forwards is that advert are not so much in a monotonous style, but to show various features even when promoting the same product. Forms of advertising are abundant, such as television commercials, billboards and flyers, all of which provide different kinds of alternatives, making it possible for consumers to find the target goods accordingly. Thus, the diverse individuals are built when a variety of advertisements cater to the need of different demands.What’s more, most people choose their favorite products mainly out of personal preferences and affordability.
In conclusion, on the credit side, the unique features of every advert attract particular people, which makes them distinguish from others.On the debit sides, the popular adverts lead to impulse buy, as a consequence, personality traits are affected. Obviously, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.
这是点评版本：
As advertisements penetrate every corner of modern life, people are
concerned about
（concerned about 改成 concerned that）
they may hinder diverse personality traits by disseminating the same information. I would argue that though advertisements moderately encourage the same tastes, people will not lose their characteristics.
On the one hand, it
is
certainly true people are willing to jump on the bandwagon and imitate the famous. When an advert becomes an instant hit, especially with the endorsement from a celebrity, many young people, even the middle-aged, will be eager to purchase the promoted products without hesitation, no matter whether they really need them. As a result, customers
are fostered similar tastes
（这里 foster 采用被动形式不合适，可以改成 customers develop similar tastes）
and gradually lose their traits.
However, the negative effects of advertising on personality
mould
（mould 删去）
pale into insignificance when set against the benefits it brings to us. Chief among the merits put forwards is that
advert
（改成 adverts）
are
not so much in a monotonous style, but to show various features even when promoting the same product. Forms of
advertising
