各位好，欢迎来到作文专栏的第六期，关于专栏的介绍可见：怎样写一篇作文？
我在之前的文章怎样正确区分口语和书面英语？里面提到了口语和书面语的区别，这些区别的背后其实体现的是文体意识。即针对不同的文体要选择合适的表达方式，避免将学术报告变成日常流水账，同样也要避免将日常对话写成学术报告。对于考场写作来说，要注意以下几点：
1.不要在考场作文中使用缩写
对于 there's, I'm, they're 这类缩写全部都要还原，比如 there is, I am, they are.
2.避免使用口语化的词语
一些在美剧和电影中看起来很时髦的单词和短语并不适合出现在考场作文里面，比如 sort of, kind of, cool, gonna, kick the bucket ... 这类表达常见于口语，但放在正式写作中会显得很不协调。
3.减少出现非正式表达
文体学中，根据使用场合的不同，英语可分为正式英语和非正式英语两种语体。应该尽量避免非正式表达出现在正式写作中，比如：
There are lots of / a lot of questions that still remain unanswered.
上面句子里面 lots of / a lot of 为非正式表达，可以改成 many.
平时写作的时候多留意自己的用词，如果不确定词性多查查词典，一般情况下可以避免上面提到的绝大多数问题。
今天要分析的作文题目是：
Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making them look the same. Do you agree or disagree?
这是作文的原始版本：
文/scottie
As advertisements penetrate every corner of modern life, people are concerned about they may hinder diverse personality traits by disseminating the same information.I would argue that though advertisements moderately encourage the same tastes, people will not lose their characteristics.
On the one hand, it certainly true people are willing to jump on the bandwagon and imitate the famous.When an advert becomes an instant hit, especially with the endorsement from a celebrity, many young people, even the middle-aged, will be eager to purchase the promoted products without hesitation, no matter whether they really need them.As a result, customers are fostered similar tastes and gradually lose their traits.
However, the negative effects of advertising on personality mould pale into insignificance when set against the benefits it brings to us. Chief among the merits put forwards is that advert are not so much in a monotonous style, but to show various features even when promoting the same product. Forms of advertising are abundant, such as television commercials, billboards and flyers, all of which provide different kinds of alternatives, making it possible for consumers to find the target goods accordingly. Thus, the diverse individuals are built when a variety of advertisements cater to the need of different demands.What’s more, most people choose their favorite products mainly out of personal preferences and affordability.
In conclusion, on the credit side, the unique features of every advert attract particular people, which makes them distinguish from others.On the debit sides, the popular adverts lead to impulse buy, as a consequence, personality traits are affected. Obviously, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.
这是点评版本：
As advertisements penetrate every corner of modern life, people are concerned about （concerned about 改成 concerned that）they may hinder diverse personality traits by disseminating the same information. I would argue that though advertisements moderately encourage the same tastes, people will not lose their characteristics.
On the one hand, it is certainly true people are willing to jump on the bandwagon and imitate the famous. When an advert becomes an instant hit, especially with the endorsement from a celebrity, many young people, even the middle-aged, will be eager to purchase the promoted products without hesitation, no matter whether they really need them. As a result, customers are fostered similar tastes （这里 foster 采用被动形式不合适，可以改成 customers develop similar tastes）and gradually lose their traits.
However, the negative effects of advertising on personality mould （mould 删去）pale into insignificance when set against the benefits it brings to us. Chief among the merits put forwards is that advert （改成 adverts）are not so much in a monotonous style, but to show various features even when promoting the same product. Forms of advertising （advertising 是指做广告这种行为或者广告业，而不是指具体的某个广告，结合文意这里 advertising 应该改成 advertisements）are abundant, such as television commercials, billboards and flyers, all of which provide different kinds of alternatives, making it possible for consumers to find the target goods accordingly. Thus, the diverse individuals are （这里可以改成 a diversity of individualities is） built when a variety of advertisements cater to the need of different demands. （可以说 cater to the needs of consumers，但不可以说 cater to the needs of consumers' demands）What’s more, most people choose their favorite products mainly out of personal preferences and affordability.
In conclusion, on the credit side, the unique features of every advert attract particular people（particular 可以改成 a certain kind of people）, which makes them distinguish （distinguish 改成 different）from others.On the debit sides, the （the 去掉）popular adverts lead to impulse buy. as a consequence, （这里另起一句，As 大写）personality traits are affected. Obviously, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages. （最后这里偏题了，题目问的是作者是否同意该观点，而不是问广告的好处和坏处）
总结：
文章的总体思路比较清晰，除了最后一段稍微有点偏题外，其他的论证符合题目要求。文中部分单词使用不是很准确，可以通过平时多查词典来提升。
思路分析：
Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making them look the same. Do you agree or disagree?
这篇作文可以从多个角度切入去分析广告对消费者个性的影响。如果你认同广告会让人们失去个性，可以给出下面的理由：
消费者在一些知名广告的轮番轰炸下，会跟风购买市面上的流行产品，比如iPhone，可口可乐，热门电影，化妆品等。这些产品让消费者的生活方式变得趋同，让他们之间的差异性变小。
如果不认同广告会让人们失去个性，可以给出下面的理由：
1）每一门类的产品实际上都有很多竞品，比如苹果和三星，可口可乐和百事可乐。这些广告为消费者提供了更多了解产品的机会，让他们能够比较产品优劣，帮助他们做出理性的购买决策。如果没有广告，消费者更可能会被其他人影响而购买同一产品。
2）目前个人主义盛行，消费者更加追求个性，难以容忍与其他人采用完全一样的生活方式。比如，几乎所有人在发现与别人撞衫之后都会感到尴尬。这一点说明依靠广告让所有人都使用同一产品是不可能的（特别是在服装和饰品领域）。
这篇作文可以写成认同题目观点，也可以写成反对题目观点。我采用的是“一边倒”的写法，即，完全反对题目的观点：
文/魏剑峰
Advertising, one of the greatest inventions in the business world, has in many ways changed our life. Rather than discourages people from being different, advertising allows for distinctive and discerning individuals, thanks to the wealth of information it disseminates and the individualism that prevails today.
In the first place, advertising enables people to live differently by expanding their shopping options. Instead of limiting consumers to a certain product, advertisements effectively offer a wide range of competing types varying in prices, materials and designs, thus assisting them in getting goods and services tailored to their needs. By comparing a variety of advertisements, for instance, would-be car buyers acquire a vehicle’s detailed information, such as body style, safety and fuel efficiency, and are more likely to make considered and independent purchasing decisions. Without advertisements, many would find it difficult to single out merchandise that suits their tastes and pockets, and may eventually settle for one-size-fits-all products, in which case a sameness is created.
The second argument concerns individualism. In an age when individualistic thinking waxes, the persuasive power of advertising wanes. A growing number of young people today have a liking for customized products that can assert their individuality, and this is especially true when it comes to personal items such as clothes, shoes and accessories —— after all, few would tolerate wandering the streets only to find themselves wearing the same outfit as many others. That means sales promotions, however effective, can hardly persuade everyone into buying the same things. Faced with this trend, some advertisements have reinvented themselves as trendsetters selling niche products to small targeted groups.
To sum up, given the nature of advertisements and a growing public awareness of individualism, advertising can do little to create uniformity. Rather, it keeps people well-informed, making it possible for them to become different individuals.
预告：
本专栏下期要分析的作文题目是：
In many less-developed countries, the gap in the standard of living between the city and countryside is very large. What are the reason? How could the gap be reduced?
感兴趣的同学可以先思考如何写，然后对照下期的思路分析。建议有空的同学自己动笔写一篇。
本作文专栏长期接受读者投稿，感兴趣的同学可以将习作发到我的邮箱 [email protected]，部分习作有机会得到点评。
