每日原则

新原则 ： 当你和别人有意见分歧并处理得不顺利的时候，先暂停争论，重新审视你们沟通的规则——关于如何很好地表达反对意见，从而调和分歧的规则。

如果你们没有这些规则，不妨共同建立起来； 如果你有，那就审视一下它们是否奏效，并思考如何进行调整，从而变得更加有效。

我在《原则》中也介绍过一些方法。 例如，当你们无法解决某个重要的分歧，应该找一位双方都同意的调解员。 但是，你们自己需要就最适合你们的规则达成一致意见。

还有一条更通用的规则，那就是： 不管在任何情况下处理任何问题，你要凌驾在问题之上，把这个情景看作是一台“机器”，而你必须拥有好的原则和方法去处理问题，并且确保已经掌握它们。 最后，回到那个情境中去运用这些原则和方法。

If you don’t have them, agree on them, and if you do have them, review how they are working and what should be changed to make them work well. In Principles, I recommended a number of things to do (e.g., mutually agreeing on a mediator when you can’t resolve an important disagreement), but you should mutually agree on those that work best for you . As a more general rule, whenever you are having any problems handling anything, step above them and look down on the situation as a “machine” that you have to have good principles and protocols for dealing with—and then make sure you have or get them. Then go back into that situation and use them.