今年是NBA史上最没意思的季后赛之一，而今天是NBA史上最没意思的季后赛之一的最没意思的一场比赛。44分，简直是亵渎篮球神明，在全国的电视机上，放着骑士吊打对手。这场比赛的激烈程度，堪比哈林表演队的那些娱乐赛，剧情和肥皂剧一样磨磨唧唧毫无营养。老铁们，还是做好准备看骑勇三回合吧，总决赛基本定下了。前两年总决赛的精彩还记得吗？也许今年联盟会说，请大家把总决之前看的这些都忘了吧，就当没有。
One of the worst playoffs in NBA history reached its nadir on Friday night with a biblically bad 44-point, nationally televised beatdown by the Cavaliers, a game as competitive as a Globetrotters exhibition with all the drama of a Law & Order rerun. Get ready for those Cavs-Warriors promos, folks, with the promise of a Finals war. Remember how good the last two Finals were, the league will say, and, please, forget everything you watched before it.
十一月，NBA有30支队伍一起竞争；四月份起，也就剩3支了。足球中，下游球队会被分到次级联盟。如果NBA学习一下，骑士、勇士、马刺会组成自己的小联盟，其他27个队伍就另外再打吧。
In November, the NBA is a 30-team league. In April, it’s whittled to three. In soccer, inferior teams are relegated to a lower division. If adopted by the NBA, Cleveland, Golden State and San Antonio would form one league – with 27 other teams playing for something else.
的确，勇士与包括骑士在内的所有球队之间差距着实不小，甚至历史上都没有过这么大的悬殊，而且现在科怀-伦纳德的伤病让勇士的道路更加平坦。两支球队，在各自分区里都是独孤求败；他们的成功让别的球队都麻木了：越来越多的潜在对手开始考虑如何在三年之后正式打败骑勇，而非现在单纯充当个搅局者。
Indeed, the gap between two teams – Golden State, whose path to the Finals was cleared by Kawhi Leonard’s injury, and Cleveland – and everyone else has never been wider. Two franchises, neither with another peer. The success has been paralyzing; more would-be contenders are thinking about how to compete with them three years from now than playing spoiler before.
就拿波士顿来说，绝对算是强队——53胜，东部第一。有一位现役全明星坐镇（以赛亚-托马斯），还有位前全明星辅佐（艾尔-霍福德）。他们带着很强的势头冲进东决——然后主场的两局比赛被按在地上暴力摩擦，一共摩擦了57分。
Take Boston. The Celtics are good– 53-win, top-seed good. They have one All-Star (Isaiah Thomas) and another (Al Horford) who has been there before. They entered the conference finals with momentum – and have been beaten in two games, at home, by a combined 57 points.
第一场血洒北岸花园，第二场——东部决赛86-130的失利——真是血都流光了。凯尔特人开始时还信心满满，比如杰伦-布朗说勒布朗-詹姆斯“就是个平常人”，以赛亚-托马斯还来一句“都是穿着球衣球鞋打球的，系鞋带的手法都一样。”然后比赛开始，三分狂风骤雨，分差疾风迅雷，让凯尔特人还有骑士所有对手明白，自己究竟是个什么水准。
Game 1 was a bloodbath. Game 2 – a 130-86 Eastern Conference finals loss – was worse. The Celtics were confident coming in. They talked tough. LeBron James is “just another guy,” Jaylen Brown said. Added Isaiah Thomas: “They lace up their shoes just like us.” Then came the game, the barrage of 3-pointers, the 50-point-lead reminder of where the Celtics, and everyone else, really stand.
“这种心情很难受，”霍福德说，“真的很难接受。”
“It’s hard,” Horford said. “It’s hard to take.”
埃弗里-布拉德利说：“说实话，太尴尬了。”
Said Avery Bradley: “It’s honestly just embarrassing.”
私下里说说，骑士可能不想遇上凯尔特人，但凯尔特人就没的选了。从骑士角度考虑，季后赛实际上就是一轮一轮的训练。奇才相比绿军可能是个更好的陪练，布拉德利-比尔可以扮演克莱-汤普森，马基夫-莫里斯可以充当穷人版德雷蒙德-格林。这两个队，骑士基本都不会输——剩下的只是看谁能更好地帮助自己为接下来的大战做准备。
Privately, the Cavs didn’t want Boston. The Celtics, you see, couldn’t help. For Cleveland, the playoffs are practice; Washington was a more useful test. Playing the role of Klay Thompson would be Bradley Beal; at supporting actor, Markieff Morris, a poor man’s Draymond Green. Losing to either team never occurred to Cleveland – it was about who could best prepare it for what was coming next.
而波士顿绝对不是那个完美陪练。他们每人防得住詹姆斯，体系也不足以扰乱他。布拉德利两场下来投了13个三分，只进了3个。凯利-奥利尼克上轮抢七暴砍26分，然后到现在，就得了2分。第一场之后，大家还在讨论该怎么调整；第二场之后，大家开始称赞凯尔特人充分利用了东决，好好上了一课。
Not Boston. The Celtics have no one to defend LeBron and no scheme to confuse him. Bradley has attempted 13 threes through two games. He has made three of them. Kelly Olynyk scored 26 points in Game 7 against Washington in the East semifinals. He has scored two since. Talk of adjustments after Game 1 turned into praise of the learning experience in Game 2.
“第四节开始，他们上了一群在联盟里摸爬滚打多年的老将，他们整个生涯都兢兢业业，”凯尔特人主教练布拉德-史蒂文斯说。“这些人领先着45分都还一丝不苟地打，对我们来说是极其生动的范例，不分什么时候你都得认真打球。”
“At the start of the fourth quarter they had a bunch of guys who have been in the league for a long time that were playing their butts off,” Celtics coach Brad Stevens said. “Those guys were playing the right way up 45 freaking points. Tremendous examples for us to learn from. You play the right way all the time.”
托马斯这一轮一直没打出最佳阵容的风采，而今天他终于明白为什么了：他在上轮第六场之后，做了臀部拉伤的检查，不过之后他一直带伤上场。Woj的栏目The Vertical报道，这个伤其实真不小，而托马斯之后系列赛的前景越发不明朗。
Thomas has been a shell of his All-NBA self this series, and on Friday we learned part of the reason why: Thomas underwent tests for a strained hip after Game 6 of the Wizards series and has been playing through pain ever since. The injury is considered significant, league sources told The Vertical, and Thomas’ status for the rest of the series is uncertain.
不过这也不算多重要了，骑士还是会碾压对手直取总决赛，与金州好好来一场火星撞地球。肯定会有人说，波士顿该把选秀权交易掉，用未来换现在。但吉米-巴特勒今年也没能打败骑士啊；保罗-乔治也没有，况且他合同马上到期，波士顿没必要拿状元签去租一个球星来。等詹姆斯老去也许是最安全的选择了——而选中马克尔-富尔茨这样天赋出众的潜力股，也是最明智之举。
Not that it matters. Cleveland will roll into its third straight NBA Finals, into a showdown with Golden State. There will be screams for Boston to trade the top pick in next month’s draft, to make the future now. But Jimmy Butler doesn’t beat Cleveland this year. Paul George, a potential rental, wouldn’t either. Waiting out LeBron is the safest move – and drafting a potentially transcendent talent like Markelle Fultz is the smartest way to do it.
联盟肯定还会炒骑勇大战，但别想得太简单：他们也不太愿看到这种事。NBA渴望把隔壁NFL那种均衡搬到自己联盟里来；然而，工资帽大涨，加上一位想回家的历史级球星，让NBA的幻想破灭。如果骑士勇士下个月真的相遇，那就是连续第三年同两支队伍会师总决赛，联盟也明白，这还真可能不是他们两家最后一次碰头。
The league will hype Warriors-Cavs, but make no mistake: It hates this, too. It craves NFL-style parity at Olympic Tower, and the combination of a salary-cap spike and an all-time great’s desire to return home has taken that away from it. It will be three straight years of Warriors-Cavs when the Finals begin next month, and the league knows it is staring down the barrel of one or two more.
骑勇大战的总决赛一定会很好看，因为讲真，哪有冤家不碰头？去年就上演了完美复仇，一个关键禁赛，几次凶狠冲突，足够把“宿敌”的味道炒热了。格林和詹姆斯之间的不和是真真切切，而斯蒂芬-库里和凯里-欧文的顶级控卫对决也定是精彩绝伦。两支球队的全明星会让这轮比赛纪录满天飞，NBA才不会碍于面子而放弃为他们造势呢。
The series will be great, because, really, how could it miss? Last year featured a comeback, a critical suspension and enough bad blood to fuel a rivalry. The tension between Green and James is real, and the battle for top point guard between Stephen Curry and Kyrie Irving will be spectacular. The star power will yield record-breaking ratings, and the NBA won’t be shy about promoting it.
然而季后赛还没到那一步，一将功成万骨枯，潜在挑战者们的尸骨越堆越高，马刺和凯尔特人可能也要加入他们了。骑士和勇士马上又要进行一次对撞，而且，真正挑战者出现之前，可能还得撞上个几年呢。
Yet the stench of this postseason will linger. The rubble of would-be contenders is piling up, with Boston and San Antonio set to join it. The Cavs and Warriors are on another collision course, and it could be years before anyone can stop it.
