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内容
Of
course
there
are
many
symptoms
and
many
ways
of
experiencing
depression
.
But
anhedonia
(
lack
of
interest
or
pleasure
in
doing
things
)
is
really
central
to
depression
for
me
.
当然抑郁有很多症状和表现形式，但快感缺失（做事缺乏兴趣或乐趣）对我来说的确是抑郁的主要表现。
Have
you
ever
gone
back
to
your
childhood
toys
and
tried
to
play
with
them
,
but
you
can
’
t
remember
why
you
found
them
fun
?
They
just
seem
pointless
and
dumb
?
Depression
was
like
that
for
everything
.
Nothing
was
interesting
or
enjoyable
and
I
couldn
’
t
imagine
how
it
ever
was
or
ever
would
be
again
.
Sometimes
I
felt
like
I
wasn
’
t
even
present
anymore
,
like
the
person
who
used
to
be
able
to
engage
with
life
just
wasn
’
t
home
.
你是否有过重新拿起儿时玩具想玩时却想不起哪里好玩的经历？那些玩具看起来毫无意义而且很无趣吧？抑郁就是看到所有东西都是那种感觉，没有什么有趣的或能让人高兴的，我也无法想象过去快乐是什么样的，再次快乐起来会是什么样，有时我感觉自己好像不存在了，好像以往和生活斗争的那个人不在家似的。
It's
10.30
am
,
and
your
alarm
clock
has
been
ringing
for
the
past
30
minutes
.
You
slowly
open
your
eyes
,
even
though
you
really
don
’
t
want
them
to
.
现在是上午10:30，闹钟响了半个小时。你慢慢睁开眼睛，即使你内心并不想这样做。
Come
on
,
you
can
’
t
stay
in
bed
all
day
again
!
快点，你不能再赖在床上一整天了！
But
your
feet
just
don
’
t
want
to
get
from
out
under
the
sheets
.
Just
like
every
morning
there
’
s
a
shadow
sitting
on
your
chest
,
pressing
you
into
bed
,
and
hurting
you
so
much
you
can
’
t
help
it
but
cry
.
但你的脚就是不想从被下面出来，好像每天早上都有一个影子坐在你的胸口，把你压在床上，你疼得忍不住哭了起来。
I
am
such
a
loser
and
nothing
but
a
disappointment
!
我这么失败，只会让人失望！
Your
eyes
,
filling
with
tears
more
and
more
from
minute
to
minute
,
are
looking
around
your
messy
room
.
Actually
you
wanted
to
tidy
up
a
little
bit
,
but
you
were
too
tired
after
coming
home
from
work
.
There
’
s
still
so
much
work
to
do
.
眼中的泪水一分一秒在增多，你看着周围凌乱的房间，其实你想收拾一下，但下班回到家太累了。而且还有那么多工作要做。
Maybe
I
should
just
find
a
job
that
I
can
actually
do
,
as
dumb
as
I
am
.
可能我该找一份力所能及的工作，和我一样沉默的工作。
As
you
finally
manage
to
take
your
eyes
off
this
mountain
of
clothes
something
else
instantly
catches
them
:
A
huge
pile
of
cups
and
plates
filling
up
the
kitchen
sink
.
Simply
thinking
of
this
unbearable
task
makes
your
hands
shake
.
Tears
start
running
down
your
face
again
.
你的眼睛最终从堆积成山的衣服上移开了，但马上又被别的东西吸引了：厨房水槽里堆得满满的杯和盘子。光是想想这些让人难以忍受的活你的手就开始发抖了。眼泪又沿着脸颊流了下来。
I
must
have
been
a
terrible
human
being
in
an
earlier
life
to
deserve
this
kind
of
abuse
.
我一定是上辈子造了孽才要受这种罪。
You
pull
your
blanket
over
your
face
.
你把毛毯拽到脸上。
I
don't
want
to
deal
with
this
world
.
At
least
not
today
.
Maybe
tomorrow
.
After
three
days
of
sleep
.
A
deep
sigh
makes
its
way
out
of
your
throat
,
and
it
feels
like
a
desperate
message
from
your
subconsciousness
.
我不想跟这个世界打交道，至少今天不行，明天吧。先睡三天再说。你长叹了一口气，好像潜意识里发出的绝望信息。
If
someone
saw
me
like
this
...
如果有人看见我这个样子…
Shouldn't
you
at
least
try
to
get
some
work
done
today
,
for
the
sake
of
mum
and
dad
?
After
yet
another
big
sigh
you
get
up
.
就算是为了妈妈和爸爸难道你今天不该至少做一点事吗？你又长叹了一声，起床了。
Let's
start
by
doing
the
dishes
.
从洗碗开始吧。
As
you
are
about
to
finish
cleaning
the
cups
,
tears
are
one
more
time
running
down
your
face
.
就要洗完杯子时眼泪再一次流了下来。
You
are
doing
the
dishes
,
there
are
worse
things
in
the
world
.
你在洗碗，世界上还有更糟的事。
You
angrily
throw
the
kitchen
towel
onto
the
pile
of
clothes
you
should
actually
put
into
the
washing
mashine
now
.
But
you
can't
,
doing
the
dishes
took
up
too
much
of
your
energy
.
So
you
go
back
to
bed
and
fall
asleep
5
minutes
later
,
mentally
completely
exhausted
,
feeling
like
your
brain's
just
run
a
marathon
.
It's
11
am
.
你生气地把洗碗布摔在那堆衣服上，你现在应该把衣服放进洗衣机里，但你做不到，洗碗已经耗费了太多精力。所以你回到床上，5分钟以后睡着了，彻底没精神了，感觉大脑像刚跑了马拉松，11点了。
To
answer
your
question
:
Everyone
experiences
depression
differently
.
And
someone
who
’
s
never
suffered
from
them
will
probably
never
truly
understand
what
they
’
re
like
.
现在回答你的问题：每个人的抑郁体验不同，从未受过抑郁折磨的人永远无法真正理解那是什么感觉。
