5分，6分和7.5分图表作文的区别（剑12 范例）
5
分学生作文
The graph presents information about the differences in terms of t
he number of
males and females
who are into exercise
in Australia
with various ages.
The p
ercentage of women aged 45 to 54
was the highe
s
t, at 53.3%, around 10% higher than the figure for men
with
the same age. Similarly, both 35-44 and 55-64 female sport fans accounted for almost 53%, while the proportion of male counterparts was lower about 10% on average.
Compared with other age groups, the number of female lovers
was more than males, the individuals
aged between 15 to 24 s
aw a different situation
which the
female enthusiasts sector(52.8%) surpassed the males (47.7%). In addition
, it is not desirable that
only 39.5% of the male population were keen t
o participating in w
orkout, and t
here were two close percentages of
females and males in the 65 and over group, at 47.1% and 46.7 respectively.
Overall, females
are more able t
o recognize the significance of physical training, and they a
re likely to ta
ke part in those activities with age, while males
neglect its benefits
until they reach middle age.
评分标注
1
，
RA
：
从头到尾学生都没有搞清楚对象词是什么，不清楚数字代表什么
评分标注
2
，
CC
：
没有分段，有些连接词
similarly
使用错误，
it is not desirable that
不知道是什么意思
评分标注
3
，
LR
：
用词很多问题，譬如说
with the same age, female enthusiasts ,close percentages
等等
不断换词，但是换的都错的，
female lovers
是什么鬼？
评分标注
4
，
GRA
：
错误百出，时态有时候用一般现在时
Situation
引导定语从句？
Age groups
和
number of female lovers
对比？
6
分学生作文
The graph
provides the data about the percentage of men and women of different ages in terms of doing exercise regularly in 2010.
Young boys were more pas
sionate for
physical activity ,with up to 52.8% of those
boys aged 15-24.
This figure
is
slightly higher than the proportion of girls of the
same ages.
As people got older,the proportion of women who did exercise regularly saw a
stead increase,
and reached 53.3% of those aged 45-54 women,while it dropped to 47.1 when
they aged over 64.
In contrast,a different trend was seen about men.The figure firstly dropped steadily with age,and only 39.5% of those aged 35 to 40
had interest about
physical activity,and then saw an increasing trend as they got older.
overall,women were more active than men in doing physical activity,and the most active age group of men and wom
en is different
,with the figure of men aged 15 to 24 and women aged 45 to 54 respectably.
